dissident ｡ nct

1.2 ｡

—Part 1.2—
Strange Normalities

❝I'm tired of standing here and handing out bread, so please follow me.❞
—Hua—

The stillness of my room was interrupted by the nags of my mother, telling me to rush downstairs and help bring the boxes of food to the factionless donation centre. I yelled back a quick reply, dashing out of my room to stand in front of the curtain that hung on top of the staircase.

The curtain was the same lacklustre colour as the rest of the house, but behind that boring fabric was something I longed for. My reflection. My identity. I looked down at my dreary clothes, running a hand over the skirt and smoothening the wrinkles, feeling the rough texture of the fabric on my fingertips. Maybe a small peek wouldn't hurt. I raised my right hand to push the cloth aside.

I yanked my arm away in surprise, hearing my mother snap, "Zhong Meihua, you of all people should know that you are not allowed to use that selfish thing without permission."

"I'm sorry, I won't do that again."

My parents, some would say, were the picture-perfect Abnegation individuals. Always selfless and willing to give their all. They were in charge of the memory serum supply for the whole of Abnegation, so they were always too busy to volunteer at the donation centre. Being the people they were, they sent Chenle and I to represent our family at the compound, taking us out of school some days of the year to help give, like the perfect Abnegation individuals we were supposed to be.

I plastered an unreadable expression on my face as I descended the stairs. Grabbing the crate of bread from my mother, I walked towards the door, where my brother would undoubtedly be waiting for me.

As I exited the door, Chenle appeared into my field of vision, holding the same box as I was, jumping up and down to grab my attention. I smiled at my twin's behaviour, walking towards him.

"Aptitude tests are in two days, sister," jabbered the boy as I approached him.

I hummed, agreeing to his statement, "you remind me every day, Chenchen. You don't let me forget."

Side by side, we made our way out of Abnegation, "I mean, aren't you excited to see where you fit?"

I tapped my fingers on the box, "I mean, in a way, yes I am, but it's just a test."

"Just a test?!" he gasped, looking stunned, "it determines our future, meimei!"

The noise of the street was deafening. The hoards of bustling individuals made it impossible to hear anyone, leave it to Chenle to be louder than anyone. His complaints gained us unwanted attention from other factions walking the road.

I winced at his dolphin voice, whipping my head around to face him, "don't you dare meimei me, we're the same age."

"I'm older by a minute," he mocked, winking at me.

"I think I threw up in my mouth a little," I exclaimed, "back to the test, I think, I'll be happy no matter what I get."

Deep down, I knew I wasn't Abnegation. I grew up here, but something about it didn't sit right with me. I didn't know who I was there.

Chenle looked at me genuinely, a serious tone falling onto his voice, "so you'd be happy to be in Abnegation for the rest of your life?"

I shrugged, not knowing what else to tell him.

We walked in comfortable silence for a while, lost in our thoughts. I looked up to the cloudless sky, feeling the heat from the hot sun on my face, the sensation of warmth spreading across my skin. The mindless chatter and bustle of the street brought a wave of comfort, unlike the silence of Abnegation, which made me feel trapped.

"Chenchen?" I called out, gaining my brother's attention, "when was the last time you looked in the mirror?"

I watched as his eyes looked up into his head, a habit I recognized as a sign of him thinking, "I think, maybe 4 months ago, when mom cut my hair." he looked back down, fixing his eyes on mine, "why'd you ask?"

"Just curious, I mean, aren't you tempted to just," I adjusted my hands on the box, "rip the cloth off the mirror to see yourself?"

"Honestly, yes I am, but being in Abnegation, we serve others, not ourselves."

I hummed in understanding, "do you feel like you know yourself?"

"No, not at all, I mean, not where I am right now at least," he blabbered out, shaking his head, "there's so much more to discover and learn out there. What do you think, Hua?"

"I agree with you wholeheartedly. Everything about Abnegation is predictable, and I hate that. I want something more. I want my own identity."

The grey exterior of the compound came into view, sticking out like a sore thumb, being the only colourless building in the area. The entrance had a stream of factionless lining up to collect their daily food rations. I scanned the crowd, observing their old mix-matched pieces of the clothing that seemed to rip at the seams.

"You ready?" I inquired, eyeing Chenle, who nodded in response as we walked to enter the compound.

***

I've been giving out bread for what felt like an eternity. All the faces of the factionless had blended into one big blurry picture, my movements robotic, a hand with bread given out, and retracted back to grab another. I'd kill for a life that wasn't this repetitive.

A feminine voice broke my daydream, "hello, could I have a piece of bread?"

I took a good look at her, noticing that she was a lot younger than the rest of the other factionless I'd served today. She looked to be around my age, her hair a dark raven colour that fell straight, stopping at her shoulders. Her features weren't sunken in like the rest of the factionless, they were distinct and angular.

She looked quite different, but a beautiful type of different.

I handed the girl a piece of bread, watching as she whispered a thank you before opening her mouth again hesitantly, "...is it possible for you to give me some clothes?" she asked, gesturing to her tattered clothing, "...it's been getting quite cold at night, and my clothes don't keep the heat in very well."

I looked at her questionably, not answering. I thought the request was odd, knowing the nights were getting warmer with summer coming near. The girl seemed to catch on to my doubts as she started to ramble about it being colder outside the city where she usually resided.

I lowered my voice into a whisper, "we don't usually allow this, but honestly, I'm tired of standing here handing out bread, so please follow me." Maybe a little rebellion would do me good.

I watched as a triumphant smile flooded her features, an action that made her glow. I suppressed a smile, happy I had made her day. I walked towards the back of the centre, away from unwanted eyes, and the girl followed close behind me.

Although I was letting her take these clothes, there was something suspicious about her. No factionless had ever asked for clothes before, maybe some extra food but never clothing.

I'd better keep an eye out for her.