dissident ｡ nct

4.1 ｡

A/N: Quick note! There was a double update today so make sure you read part 3.4! This was due to missing Saturday's update! Enjoy!

—Part 4.1—
Affliction

"Fall into this dilemma."
—Anzhi—

I let out a deep sigh as I took a seat against the big tree in the orchard. No one was working today, knowing the children had a big day tomorrow.

The choosing ceremony.

For the past few days, it was all that was on my mind. Yes, I had plans to leave Amity—even if the thought wasn't certain. But, I was hoping the test would show anything to confirm me to stay in Amity, keeping up everyone's expectations, or to point me to a faction I could actually survive in.

Dauntless and Amity were too opposite for me to even consider picking.

I wasn't going to consider it, no matter how curious I was. But my aptitude test only confused my thoughts more. How could I have gotten Dauntless of all things?

Now, I don't even have a direction or sense of what to choose.

"Anzhi!" I heard Shotaro call out.

I slowly lifted my face to the sunlight, watching the more cheerful boy walk over. Usually, I'd be able to match his happiness. Today, though, tiredness was clearly written all over my face.

"Hi, Taro," I voiced quietly, giving him a lazy, barely energized smile.

His eyebrows furrowed as he paused, seeing my tired face. "Are you okay?"

I just shrugged, not knowing how to respond. He knew that was not like me though—I never ran out of words to say.

Shotaro sighed, taking a seat next to me.

"What did you want to talk about?" I inquire, letting out a tired sigh.

From his hesitance, I could tell he was either afraid of speaking out or reluctant. It must be extremely important, then.

"I overheard something the other day. The elder Amitys were talking, and I happened to overhear them. Usually, I'd feel bad. But, they said something weird."

Interested, I sat up straighter, motioning for him to continue. "I'm interested, and I don't get interested often so you should definitely continue."

Shotaro chuckled. "Yeah, don't interrupt me then. It's scary but it was extremely secretive. Only three were there with two Erudites. They were talking about teaming up to take something down—I couldn't hear everything. But, I don't think it's a good thing..."

His words sent me into deep thoughts, thinking about just how weird that whole situation must've been. A meeting with the Erudites? A meeting without all of the Amity elders?

"Was this in the greenhouse?"

Shotaro shook his head, pointing to one of the smaller community houses on the other side of the land. "They were talking in there."

"I don't know what to think about that..." I trailed off, having no words on the situation.

It was all just surreal to me. A meeting with any representative of another faction always happened in the greenhouse with all of the Amity present. It didn't make sense.

What's going on?

"I don't know what you got on your aptitude test, and I'm not going to ask. Just be wary of what you say to any of the Amity elders, alright?" Shotaro said, standing back up to get ready to leave.

I stood up as well, starting to walk away as I nod my head.

"Alright."

***

I sat on my bed, relaxing as my brother continued to talk about his day. He was distracting me. He could sense there was something off.

I'd pushed what Shotaro said earlier to the back of my mind, choosing to focus on the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow instead.

Though, Shotaro's words had some weight. I was starting to wonder, is Amity even safe?

The most peaceful, neutral faction—and I was starting to doubt it. Sicheng's words went in one ear and out the other, and he'd noticed.

"Anzhi," he called out, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Are you worried about tomorrow?"

I stared at Sicheng, hesitantly nodding my head. "I feel like there's something off these days. It's confusing me."

A stillness comforted the room as we both stayed silent, contemplating our next words.

"Anzhi, I don't know what you know about things. And...I know you don't want to stay here. All of your complaints make it obvious," Sicheng started, lowering his voice to barely audible. He then laughed, and I guessed he remembered my harsh words about our lifestyle. "But, I think Amity is always going to be the safest place for us. That's all I can tell you."

He then stood up, beginning to walk to the door.

"Wait! What do you mean? Do you know something?"

Sicheng stopped moving for a second before shaking his head. "Sleep well. You have a big day tomorrow."

With that, he closed the door, leaving me alone with my conflicting thoughts.

Family and safety...or a permanent change in scenery?