No Harm List | BTS Mafia AU

As far as he could throw you

"Was wondering how long that would take." Tae muttered as the two of you made your way to the garage. You could only blush in response, the same goofy smile on your face.

Taehyung was not surprised when he saw you and Jungkook kiss. His younger brother had been harboring feelings for you for months, and it only took so long before anyone gave into his charm.

He was not jealous of the two of you, either. Not in the way that he thought he would be. It actually made him a little happy to see the way both your faces split into bashful smiles, punch drunk on eachother.

His relationship with you was confusing. He had known you for years but in these past months, you had become fast friends. He learned very quickly that he loved to mess with you and get a rise out of you as much as he did the other members. So he flirted and made sly comments and was delighted to find you bit back without hesitation.

Over time perhaps, he could have felt more. But that was one thing budding relationships barely held out for. Time.

Taehyung was not jealous of you and Jungkook being together. He was jealous of how easy you both made it seem when you leaned into each other snatching a quick kiss for the road.

He was jealous of how easy you made it look to trust each other and not one bit of it blow up in your face and lead to disaster. He was jealous of how, despite your intentions being anything but, you both seemed so pure and untouched by the world. Rushing head first into the daunting dynamics of a relationship.

Taehyung has known you for years. Almost as long as Hoseok, he dare say, though as your drug dealer, he never got as close to you as his brother did.

But he watched and got to know you over time. He knew your vices, motives, and goals. And what more do you need to judge a person's character on. 

Based on the information he had gathered, he concluded you weren't that terrible of a girl. A dangerous force to be reckoned with, sure. But a far cry from the terrible people he kept company with. And yet, when you started to breach the inner circle of the gang after you saved Jungkook, he hated you.

Hated that you would work at the bakery with Jin and Jimin. Hated that he didn't know what threats you would bring to his family and hated that you were on such a sacred list.

He trusted you as far as he could throw you. 

Meanwhile, Jungkook and Hoseok were both ready to trust you with their lives. After two shifts, Jimin came home willing to do the same, absolutely delighted by you.

Shouldn't their judgment of character somehow affect his?

If every person he trusts and loves is willing to let in this strange girl why wouldn't he? Especially after you saved him from Officer Miller and comforted him after he broke down. He felt safe enough in your home to sleep in your bed while you stayed watch despite being unarmed and oblivious to the threats around you at the time.

But despite all that, Taehyung doesn't think he could ever let you in the way he saw Jungkook. He could never press his lips against yours and make you feel safe and loved and warm.

His heart was hardened and his body was corrupt.

Taehyung wasn't hurt that Jungkook had you.

Taehyung only wondered if he would ever allow himself to have anyone.

The drive back to the apartment was quite aside from the soft music playing on the radio. Taehyung's thoughts were swirling too quickly to make proper conversation, and he imagined yours were doing the same.

"Be sure to get some rest this evening, the gas really takes its toll on people, trust me we've all gone through it." Tae said, breaking the silence.

You nodded not really knowing what else to say. Taehyung seemed tense, the officer uniform only making him look even more high strung. He kept his eyes pointed on the road, and any time you looked at him you saw his jaw clench.

When you saw Taehyung at the end of the hall you had felt something in your stomach drop a bit. You may not remember everything from last night but you could recall the few minutes before the gas when you and Tae exchanged what you thought were harmless flirtations.

But something in his expression made you feel like you were a child about to be caught drawing on the walls.

But surely he didn't develop feelings for you? And you didn't develop feelings for him.

Taehyung always seemed so much bigger than you and ten steps ahead of every game he played. While Jungkook had a spectrum he lived his life on. Around you he could be a college student, a budding gang leader, and a goofy friend you felt safe to confide in. But Taehyung was a spy and gangster to his core. 

Untouchable and impenetrable.

You knew he never truly let you in beyond the day at the Orchard. And you breakthrough in you friendship with him had been a nothing but good timing.

Some days when Tae was having one of his moods you didn't know if the man actually cared for you beyond the life debt that he was obligated to.

You always felt the small distance he kept between the two of you, and respected it. So why did his expression make you feel like you were doing something wrong?

You told yourself he must be stressed about going into the police station after the run in with Officer Chad a few weeks ago.

When you arrived, he took the time to walk you to your door, and the silence between you felt heavier with each step to your front door.

"We have the area secured so you don't have to worry about your safety when you're home alone," Tae told you while you unlocked your door.

You nodded, realizing you weren't even concerned for your safety at your apartment before he mentioned something. You were still so naive sometimes.

"Thank you.." You said quietly.

"And if you need anything please give someone a call. There no shame in not being able to spend the night alone." He added and for as second, his tone seemed so concerned. It felt like he was a mother bird fussing over it's chick.

"I'm not as fragile as you think." You responded flatly.

"I never thought you were. But when your memories come back the shock might too. Take care of yourself." He pushed with a soft smile.

You rolled your eyes but agreed to his orders.

"And Ella?" he called for you as you unlocked the door, "I'm happy for you and Jungkook. You two deserve each other." He said with a fond smile so genuine it caught you off guard before he turned and made his way back to the car.

A/N: so this was a bit of a bummer chapter but I felt like we all needed to see taehyungs perspective here. sorry for the delay in updates, but thanks so much for reading babes! Please vote and comment!!