[DISCONTINUED] I Will Be Your Eyes {A Jayfeather x Reader}

The Final Chapter - Finished

[Y/w/n] sat in the camp's clearing, flicking her tail. She watched the stars above her, and basked in the silence that was laid like a blanket over the camp.

A rustle from behind alerted her, and she perked her ears. [Y/w/n] turned her head to get a better glimpse of whoever was approaching.

It was Jayfeather, who had emerged from the medicine den. He padded towards her, and sat down next to her.

[Y/w/n] could tell something was off about him, and so she nudged him. Jayfeather let out a lengthy sigh.

"[Y/w/n], I've got something to tell you."

Tilting her head in curiosity, she urged him on.

"I...I don't love you. I never have."

A cold chill ran down [Y/w/n]'s back.

He turned away. "I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back. I've met someone."

"Who?"

He turned back to her. Suddenly, she realized his eyes were a vibrant blue. He was blind no longer.

"Joseph Robinette Biden Jr." He exclaimed. His voice seemed to melt at the words. His tail twitched.

[Y/w/n] went silent. "W-what?"

"He's not the only one though. There's also...Edward. From Twilight. And Elon, my space baby..."Jayfeather said in excitement.

"Jayfeather, I'm confused..."

He laughed. "As expected! You're just a lowly peasant created by a sluggish author who went through an early mid-life crisis!"

[Y/w/n]'s ears went flat.

"They'll be here any minute, to pick me up. I need to go live with my ookie-pookies."

Jayfeather stood, as two men walked into the camp, hand in hand. [Y/w/n] cowered in fear like the weak namby-pamby she is.

"Ah, Jayfeather, my love, I'm so glad we came in time to get you away from these animals." Edward from Twilight said, waving his hand around in disgust.

Within seconds, Jayfeather dissipated into a burst of blue smoke, and [Y/w/n] began coughing from the fumes. In his place stood an 11 foot tall man with blue hair and clothes make of twigs and leaves. He brushed the hair from his face.

"I love it when you do that." Edward said.

Jayfeather chuckled sexily. "I know."

Joe, who stood next to Edward, seemed sad. Jayfeather noticed this and frowned. "Jo-Jo what's wrong, you sexy tiger?"

Joe started bawling the moment the words left Jay's mouth. He gasped in surprise and looked to Edward for help.

"Elon left us."

Jayfeather slapped a hand to his chest. "No!"

Tears were rolling down Joe's face, and some began to park in Edward's eyes.

"That space devil!!"

Edward nodded, and wiped Joe's tears away. "Shh shh, it's okay."

Jayfeather shook his head. "I hope he dies in space."

They nodded in agreement.

Edward smiled. "On a lighter note, I'm pregnant!!"

Jayfeather began screaming in joy, and Joe's tears evaporated into rainbow dust.

"No way omg baby!!" Jayfeather exclaimed.

Everyone was crying. "We'll name her Nessiekit" Edward says. Jayfeather nods.

"Yes, now let's go before that pest follows us." He nods to [Y/w/n] who is dying on the ground from the fumes of Jayfeather's transformation.

The three skip away out of the woods while [Y/w/n] suffocates to death.

The end

A/N: This is dedicated to all those commenters I'm still salty about who commented stuff like "*meows sadly*" and guilt tripped me into feeling like a piece of shit. Anyways. This was a shit post, and the last thing I'll add to this book. Gods save me.