Texting With The Avengers

•Loki Love (ft. Deadpool)•

AN/ Spoilers for the Loki Show if you haven't already traveled through time. Also, I rewatched Deadpool recently, so this felt right.

***

Loki: Is it wrong to fall in love with yourself?

You: Loki, it is 3 in the morning. Why are you asking me this now?

Loki: Because I think I may have just met the love of my life. She's so clever and quick and she's not exactly mischievous, but she's still quite the troublemaker :3

You: wait wait wait I thought you said you were in love with yourself?

Loki: I am.

You: Then... who's this girl that you're talking about?

Loki: Me, of course.

You: I am confusion. Please explain.

Loki: What is there to be confused about? I am simply in love with a variant of myself who's nexus event was simply existing, and I was just asking if it's wrong to be in love with yourself. Well, I guess she's not me-me, she's a version of me from an alternate timeline, but you get the point.

You: ... Do I?

You: Wait, so does that mean there's a hot version of myself from a different timeline that I can date?

Loki: Maybe, but can we get back to talking about me now?

You: How many different versions of you are there?

Loki: Well, since there's now an infinite amount of timelines, I guess that means there's now an infinite number of Lokis.

You: So there's now an infinite amount of (Y/N)s too?

Loki: Correct.

You: Wait, why is there now an infinite amount? Loki, what did you do?

Loki: I traveled to the end of time with Sylvie and she killed a version of the big bad—not the actual big bad—and now the timeline is broken!

You: Who's Sylvie?

Loki: Me. The me I will fight for and love until the end of all things.

You: I am so confused....

Wade: Now you know how I feel.

You: WHAT

You: WHO ARE YOU AND HOW ARE YOU TEXTING US?

Wade: Oh, sorry. The name's Pool, Dead.

You: Are you a version of Loki too?

Wade: Golly, I wish I had those soft blue eyes and greasy black hairs, but no. I'm from a different movie studio who is now owned by the studio that Loki's from, so I guess I'm from your movie studio!

Loki: (Y/N), who is this madman?

Wade: Oh, I'm just a fan, like (Y/N) here. I too have been suffering from timeline troubles since I've had my mouth sewn shut, but everything's fine now. Apparently, infinite timelines can help explain how my people fit in with your people.

You: What the hell are you talking about?

Wade: Nothing important. So, Low-key, suffering from a little selfsest troubles, hm?

Loki: Mobius and his love of jet skis was a lot more understanding compared to you, creature.

Wade: Oh wow, keep talking to me like that, and maybe I'll be in love with a Loki too.

You: Shut up! Both of you!

You: After half of the universe being erased and Wanda tearing a whole in reality, I don't need to hear about any more huge canon-shifting events!

Wade: Yeah, well, Benadryl Cumbersome's next movie likely won't help. If anything, it might cause a little more madness.

You: Or hopefully fix it?

Wade: We'll see. You never know, I might even show up in the near future.

Loki: But you're here right now?

Wade: In another timeline, now is the near future.

You: ...

Loki: ...

Loki: So, back to my love for Sylvie... I hope she's okay over at the end of time. We didn't really get to say goodbye.

Wade: But you did snag a pretty spectacular kiss though. 👀

You: wait what

Loki: Indeed, our lips met gloriously.

Loki: Wait, how do you know about that?

Wade: Like I said, I'm a fan.

Wade: Anyway, I'll see you both around. A friendly rock monster and I have a movie trailer to review.

Wade has left the chat.

You: ... this isn't even a chat. I texted you privately, Loki. How the heck did he do that?

Loki: I don't have the slightest idea. I guess I should start searching for a way to reset this mess I've created. Mobius doesn't remember me and you need your rest.

You: Thank you.

Loki: Good night, (Y/N).

You: 'Night! (Or day. Whatever it is in your timeline.)