Classified light- a criminal minds fan fiction

Forever home

The silence lasted long after Cameron had fallen asleep on Hotch's shoulder and woken back up to see him now gone from the hospital room; he didn't return again.

Not the next day, not the next two weeks that she was there getting checked up on from the doctors until she was cleared to leave, not even the next month that she had to take off from work to fully recover.

He didn't even so much as text her, but the rest of the team were always showing up at hers and inviting her to hang out so they could spend as much time with her as possible to make up for them not seeing her when she was in the coma.

It was like they swapped with how Hotch was when she was in the coma.

She felt an aching every time she turned up for group outings and he wasn't there, always some simply explained excuse of 'extra work' or something to do with Jack- not that he explained himself much anyway.

She knew this would happen, that he would distance himself, that he had to do this- but it still hurt. It felt like he was giving up on any chance of being near her even though the idea of them again was utterly hopeless and unreachable with Strauss keeping on top of them- but it felt like he was giving up on her.

And that feeling was confirmed at the end of her first week back at work.

It had been a rough few weeks back at work; avoiding looking at him, trying to fight the frustration of him not so much as glancing at her anymore, of him seeming to be fine now, of the hidden urges she saw from him before just gone.

It had been a simple-ish case luckily, a series of home robberies that resulted in a high-speed car chase between the unsub and the team as Cameron stayed at the station and started the paper work like usual.

A close and shut case; not even the slightest chance of any 'life threatening, end of the world' moments she almost craved now so it meant that Hotch would have to be forced to go back to himself, to the way he held her so desperately close to him with guilt of not doing it enough.

Cameron shook her head at herself as she got off the jet back home.

Stop it, get over it, stop pining after him- he doesn't even look at you anymore, he's fine now.

That's what hurt her the most, the fact that he so clearly didn't hurt anymore.

It wasn't that she wanted to see him hurt or be in pain from not being able to be 'them' anymore, but there was some comfort before in knowing that he still cared enough to have that same pain as her, that he still cared about her enough to keep that agonising pain just to be able feel the ghost of what they were like she did.

"Hey kiddo- how's your first case back been?" Rossi nudged Cameron as they walked through the airport.

"Much the same, a lot more paper work than I remember" she nodded to hide the truth.

Awful, boring, dull.

"Yeah sorry that's our fault, we got a little backed up with it all when you were gone" Morgan apologised from the other side of her.

"It's okay, I'll catch it all up tonight and this weekend" Cameron nodded.

"Cam, you can't do all our paperwork for us this weekend" Morgan shook his head, "plus, you're going to be too busy tonight."

"I am?" She quizzed.

"Yeah, you have plans" he smiled.

"I don't remember making any plans?"