Lost in the Depth

Fault

Antonio

I do nothing but stand in the hall, Alessia and the guards behind me. I was surprised when Alessia took me out of my cell. I was even more surprised to see Rayna. It felt like someone had a hand wrapped around my heart and they were squeezing the living daylights out of it.

The moment I saw her face I could read the guilt written all over her. Good, I had thought. Let her feel the guilt of what she did to me and my people. But I couldn't help but feel sad for her.

There had been dark bags under her eyes and I knew just by the look of it that she hasn't slept well in days. Her hair had been a tangled mess and her face pale, even though we were at the beach just this morning. God, that was this morning.

It feels like eons ago.

I hadn't let my emotions show, though. That is, until she walked out of the hall. The moment she was gone, I felt something in me exhale.

I don't try anything because, well, what's the point. Even if I do make it out, she'll find me anyway. Now we are standing here in silence.

Or we were, until a faint screaming sounds from the hallway. Loud sobs follow the scream and I know who they belong to. And I can't help but care.

Fuck the guards. Fuck Alessia. Fuck what Rayna did.

I knock the guards out in two swift moves and walk over to Alessia. "Untie me, now."

She cuts the rope binding my wrists and I all but sprint down the hall, Alessia close behind.

I find Rayna in her office, sitting against the wall, hands in her hair and sobbing like she's never cried before.

She doesn't notice us come in and she jumps when I put my hands on her shoulders.

I don't know why I'm doing this.

I've killed men who have been late on a single lousy payment. I've tortured women who withheld information from me. I've even killed my own soldiers for disobeying orders.

Now, here I am, with a clear shot at ending Rayna's life.

And I don't want to.

I just want to make her stop crying. 

She looks at me, tears running down her cheeks like a waterfall. "It's my fault," she mutters in between sobs. So quietly I barely hear.

"It's all my fault."

I don't know what she's talking about so I just hold her as she sobs into my chest. 

After a few minutes, her sobs die down and we just sit there, her face against my chest, my arms around her and Alessia sitting next to us, rubbing Rayna's back.

"Do you mind getting her some water?" I ask Alessia. I take a moment to appreciate the irony of the moment as she opens her mouth as if to argue. She decides against it and nods, exiting the room.

Rayna is still as a statue. The last of her hiccups are gone and she just stays silent. You'd think she was dead. I decide to check, just in case, and I hold her cheeks, bringing her head up from my chest to face me.

The sight of her like this breaks my heart. What I would give for things to be the way they were just last night.

"What happened?" I ask her. She stays silent and, even though, I'm holding her face up, her eyes are still on the floor. "Look at me."

Her eyes suddenly snap up to meet mine, her head still as they do. She stares at me in guilt for a moment.

"He's gone." She doesn't have to say Will's name for me to know she's talking about him.

"Two weeks he was missing. Two weeks he was being tortured by Madeline. Two fucking weeks and I didn't even bother looking for him. And now he's gone." Her voice chokes up by the last word and she looks down again.

"It's not your fault Rayna. I should've known Madeline would do something like this. I should've known...

"No it is my fault Antonio. Because while he was being held in that cell, I was with you." She says the word with so much poison in her tone. I know she's thinking about what we did last night.

"That's not fair, Rayna."

"I'm not blaming you. No, I'm not blaming you..." her voice is such a soft whisper now and it slowly dies down as she speaks.

I pull her back in and we sit there, her in my arms, for what feels like an eternity.

Just as I realise Alessia is taking too long to get just a cup of water, a gunshot echoes through the building. 

Rayna is off the ground in a moment and out the door, me following her. I admire her focus, that even in such a state, she still has a sharp mind.

We reach the hall and Alessia is standing there.

Being held by the neck by my mother, who is holding a gun to her head.