Lost in the Depth

Hang Out

Tony removes his hands from my waist, pushes the clothes and things off the bed and sits down, patting the spot next to him. I sit there and just stay silent. I know he expects me to say something but I mean, this isn't exactly where I thought things were headed when I came to his room.

"So why did you say it was nothing?" he asks when he sees that I'm not going to say anything anytime soon.

"I- I don't know, I was just scared, you know?"

"No I don't know, Rayna. There's things that I notice about you that no one else does but I don't know you," he replies softly. I know why I denied it all, but I don't know if I can open up to him. Alessia's always been able to get it. I don't do relationships. Not after growing up watching my parents' relationship. But besides Alessia, I don't think anyone else would really understand. And now with Will's death so fresh in my mind, it's even worse.

"I have to go," I tell Antonio and he reaches for my wrist as I get up from the bed but I bolt out of the room, ignoring his calls.

---

Guess what I'm doing right now. Shots, drinking, dancing?

Correct.

There is no place better than a club or a party to just forget. Forget everything and everyone and just do whatever the hell you want like the world is going to end tomorrow.

I honestly don't even know how, after going to clubs at least six times a week, I'm not sick of the idea. I don't think I'll ever be.

That's why I'm disappointed when Alessia says she wants to leave. But she's my friend so yeah.

So now we're in a cab, on our way back to the hotel. As the booze and drugs die down in my system, my thoughts drift to Antonio and our whole shit with our mafias.

I make sure Alessia is asleep before leaving her room and I go back to my own.

My mind is a crashing sea as I put new clothes on and dry my hair.

I almost don't hear the knock on my door over the hairdresser, but it's loud enough so I get up and open the door.

I half expected to see Antonio and I was right. He stands in front of me, a weird look on his face that I can't quite read.

I go over and jump on my bed, letting him into my room. He sits on the bed with me.

"yes?" i ask him.

"i dont know i wanted to hang out i guess."

i burst out laughing. antonio monet and me. hanging out. just the thought seems like a something from a dream.

he rolls his eyes, getting up to stand in front of me and says "yeah to normal people hanging out isnt so strange. but i guess all u wanna do is fuck and fight so..."

i flip him off and say " well what do u want to do? watch a movie and then hold hands and skip around the park?"

he looks annoyed and just says "fucking hell," while rolling his eyes.

"yea no ur right. i think just the holding hands and skipping part is a good idea. we can skip the movie," i say laughing

he starts to walk away but before hes out of reach i grab his wrist and pull him towards me. he takes the hint and leans down to kiss me. i pull him by his collar down on top of me as we kiss.

so much for breaking the pattern.