Love Is Pain (HxH Au) (Killugon)

6

Both Gon and aunt mito's eyes went wide. "no, what made you think that?" she said, Gon frowned slightly. "aunt mito would never hit anybody unless they hit her first" he paused. "or maybe if they hit me" well I didn't do any of those things... did I assume too much? He slowly lowered his hands, shuffling his feet and biting his lip a little. "i-it's just... mother h-hits me when I lie so I a-assumed... sorry" both of them looked horrified. "what the hell's wrong with her!" aunt mito shouted. Killua flinched, taking a step back. Why's she shouting? There's no other guy she's arguing with. Could she be... mad at me? He felt tears sting his eyes again and Gon glanced over to him, then took a step forward and in front of him. He blinked for a few seconds, and then he felt hands over his ears. He froze, then got another flashback. This time of him covering Alluka's ears while his parents were fighting. And the warm but gentle pressure on his ears was comforting, he closed his eyes and stopped crying. Why does it feel so nice? Is this how Alluka felt? Well then I'm happy. I'm glad I got to do this for her- the hands went away and the moment was gone.

"I think you scared him aunt mito" he opened his eyes again and took a step to the right, Gon was still standing in front of him. Aunt mito looked like she was sad, and worried. "did I? I'm sorry" she... apologized? Mother never apologized unless they were in public and someone was watching. "he obviously as some sort of childhood trauma-" Killua flinched slightly, childhood... trauma? I don't like the sound of that... the hand came back, this time it rested itself on his back. His hand feels so warm... Killua felt himself relax into the touch. "please be gentle with your words" Gon said, and aunt mito sighed. Then she opened her arms. Killua blinked, and then blinked again. "u-um... what's that mean?" he glanced up at Gon, who was frowning slightly again. "she wants to give you a hug" his eyes went wide. A hug? Mother never gives me hugs... I think father did though. Maybe aunt mito was more like father, maybe she would be kind and forgiving like he was. He took a nervous step forward, she gave him a smile and he took another.

A few steps later he was standing right in front of her, looking up at her with conflicted feelings. What if... what if she's pretending to be nice like mother does in front of other people? But... her smile looked so real. Killua knew what a fake smile looked like, that wasn't fake. So he squeezed his eyes shut and took the last step. As soon as he did, he felt warm arms around him and he relaxed. I-I haven't had a hug in so long... he hugged her back a little, his face was kind of in her chest like the last time father- he felt a hand in his hair and he gasped, then writhed. "woah!" he pushed himself away, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. She lied! She was gonna pull my hair! He ran back over to Gon and hid behind him, one of his trembling hands on his shoulder. How did she make that smile so real? I couldn't even tell the di- "wait what did I do?" he peeked over Gon's shoulder at aunt mito, she didn't look mad. He glanced up at Gon nervously, he looked confused as well. Well, she didn't hit me when I lied. Maybe she wasn't actually going to pull my hair?

Killua mumbled into Gon's shoulder. "thought she was gonna pull my hair" he thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't like his hair being touched, but I want to test a theory" he blinked up at him. Theory? And then he felt Gon's hand on his head. He was about to panic again, then he realized something. Why does it feel nice again? I don't feel scared. And then the hand started to move, it ruffled his hair and he felt himself lean into it a little as he closed his eyes. "Nh" the hand left and Killua opened his eyes again. "I get it" he said. He glanced from aunt mito, to Gon, then back. I don't really understand- "I think it has to with a fear of older women" he blinked. I'm not scared of girls, I'm scared of moth- oh. I get it too now. Whenever he saw a woman who looked or even acted a little bit like mother, he would get this weird feeling. Now that the wall came down, that feeling was amplified and magnified. "Oh..." she said, "I'm sorry" and then Gon slapped his hand into his face, Killua jumped a little, eyes wide. Why did he hit himself?