Love Is Pain (HxH Au) (Killugon)

1

Ever since Killua was young, his mother and father didn't get along. They would yell, and fight, and yell some more. He tried his best to shield Alluka from the worst of it, but that meant that he heard every word. While he was covering her ears, he listened as they shouted insults and sweared at each other. Is this what love is? Neither of them seemed happy at all, how could the other three just ignore all this? Piggy was playing on his computer usually, Kalluto liked to draw, and Illumi was always out doing work. One day when he was ten, he was sitting on the couch trying not to listen to his parents argue when he heard a crash. "THAT'S IT! I'M DONE. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU BITCH!" he flinched, only to be dragged out of his seated position by his mother. She was crying and mad. "mother?" he said quietly. She glared at his father. "I'M TAKING HIM WITH ME!" he blinked up in confusion. Take me? Where? The next thing he knew, he was sitting in a one room apartment with his mother. "love is pain sweetheart, always remember that" his mother said. Killua didn't understand what she meant at the time, he just nodded. "ok mother" and he gave her a hug, she seemed sad. How long will we be staying here?

Their family was rich, so he always was homeschooled. Well, after mother left with him that all changed. For the longest time, he didn't go outside. Mother was always sad, so he tried to comfort her. She always said that she hated father. But I don't, not really. He wondered how his siblings were doing. The only one Killua really cared about though was Alluka. Illumi and Piggy never let him hang out with them, and Kalluto liked drawing alone. But Alluka looked at him like he was her favorite person in the world. They would play games and snuggle sometimes, her favorite game was the one where he played dead and then he came back up and said 'boo!' he had cried himself to sleep a few times missing his little sister, but he never let mother see. Mother was sad too, she didn't need any more strain put on her right?

But then when he was eleven and a half, she started to change. She got more irritable, shouting at him and scolding him even when he did something just like she asked. It was like everything he did made her angry, he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong. But she never actually hurt him physically, not until much later. "Killua Zoldyck!" his mother hollered. He huffed, then started going down the stairs. He and mother had moved into a bigger apartment, this one had more rooms and two floors. His room was upstairs while mother's was downstairs, along with the kitchen, eating room, and sitting area. The only other rooms upstairs were one bathroom, the 'stuff' room, and the extra bedroom. "coming" the hell does she want now? Killua rounded the corner to see his mother in the kitchen, with some sort of bottle in her hand. He walked up behind her, "yes?" he still tried to be sweet to her, he didn't know if talking back might trigger her anger and make her worse.

She pointed to the bottle, "go put that on" he blinked a few times. Ok? Then he grabbed the bottle and looked at its contents. Hair dye? He bit his lip, Killua liked his hair. "m-mother" she glanced over at him, "yes dear?" he shifted a little, "why do I have to wear hair dye?" it was black, not a color that would look good on him in his opinion. Killua had always loved fashion and makeup, although he never told his mother in case she didn't like it. "because you look like your father, I'm getting you contacts tomorrow as well" he was speechless for a few moments. Why the hell should I change how I look because you hate that man? I don't wanna wear fucking contacts, my hair's just fine. He decided to express his feelings, although not quite as harshly. "Mother, I like my hair and eyes. I don't want to-" he was cut off as she grabbed a fistful of his hair with a furious expression. "UNGRATEFUL BRAT!" he gasped in pain as she yanked on it. "O-Ow!" then she shoved him into the wall, bottle clattering to the floor as he clutched his burning roots.

"fine, be that way" she snapped. He felt tears sting his eyes and he ran upstairs, flopping onto his bed. It was white and soft, but very plain as well. His entire room was plain, no knickknacks littered the shelves, nothing lying around his floor either. He had a white dresser and nightstand, coupled with white sheets and pillows. All of his damn shirts were white as well, at least he had a few pairs of different colored shorts and pants. Killua cried into his pillow. I just said I didn't want to dye my hair. I didn't even do anything wrong! But if he didn't do anything wrong, then why did she hurt him? His mother had never hurt him before, so why did she? He grabbed one of his only personal items, a plush. It was a cat, and it was white with blue eyes just like him. He called her Killuna, or luna for short. He held Killuna close, hugging her tightly and trying to calm his breathing. After a while, he fell asleep. I'll try harder to please mother next time.