The what the heck novels (Wattys 2014)

Werewolves, eagles, and keecees

Anaya looked at the peanut butter. It was so weird! White and black is not the sky’s color. Perhaps she needed to see the bigger picture. Look unto the white and black and see the rainbow. Of course, this wasn’t the first time Anaya had wondered why the sky was black and something brighter like blue.

  She remembered being beaten into a pulp by the feminists. They really didn’t like her. Maybe it was because she had a talking camel that flies although humanly impossible. Wait, that made her remember. Qyicfblicdvcfdvcd!

   BoedbodcbodwbdA was trying to save her from something. Was it a gerbil? Oh yeah, it was. She chuckled at the thought of eddewywEU trying to save her from a measly gerbil. She looked up and saw something that made her gasp….

   Good evening folks. I’m Joe Na with the news. A man decided to be an idiot and kill some people. A car crash will mess you up by 15 minutes. Did you know that watching the news is redundant and raises your chances of depression? According to some scientist who might never be named from the university of xxxxxxxxxx, it’s true. You should totally believe this because it’s from a scientist. That’s all for now. And remember, get paid, get laid, Gatorade.

 

 

 

 

 

Anaya thought that must be the most beautiful bird that has ever graced the earth. Its strong wings flapped through the air like a hot knife through butter. The feathers were a hazel brown with black on the tips. The claws of the beast were a bright yellow. “Umm… excuse me? Can you me?” Anaya asked nervously. The mighty eagle looked down at her with its beady eyes. “Sure!” The eagle’s claws released.

   Anaya never flew before. Her parents (Yes, she has parents. She is not an orphan. She just has those cliché wattpad parents that couldn’t care less about what she’s doing with her life.) Often drove to wherever they needed to. She did have fbeisdklbk but he didn’t count. She always wanted to fly in a plane. She imagined them as giant metal birds that overtook the sky.

   She didn’t think it’ll be so horrifying.

  Instead of a peaceful flight soaring in what seemed like slow motion was a dramatic drop to what seemed like death. The ground slammed into her back with traumatic force. Luckily, she fell into some conviently placed trees to slow her descent. She got up with no leaves or twigs in her hair.

  As Anaya walked away from her crash site, the entire placed exploded. Of course, she didn’t see it because cool girls don’t look at explosions. She knew she needed to find cfbdkdscfb;ki where ever that camel went. And that's what she’ll do.