Loving a Dangerous Life (editing)

Chapter 22 - I Want Food

I didn't say anything as we ate, and he didn't make any effort to talk to me, the only sign that he was even here with me being the hand that hadn't let go of mine since our fight. Alex constantly rubbed small circles across my skin but I wasn't sure if he even knew he was doing it.

When we got back home, I lay on my bed, trying to figure out what to do. My mind hurt, my heart not getting enough oxygen. I suddenly needed to be moving, to stop thinking- but my muscles hurt from all the fucking and working-out I had done. Alexander was right, my body needed time to breathe, but I wasn't sure if I could give it that with how fucked up things were right now. Alex lay next to me, spooning me and rubbing teasing yet comforting patterns up and down my back. I turned over, laying my head on his chest. He played with my hair.

"I'm sore," I sighed, wrapping my arms around him, soaking up the warmth. He chuckled.

"I know, Princess."

"What should I do?" My voice was quiet and weak, a mere shadow of the once confident and proud one I used to have. Alex sighed, his chest rising and falling under me. His heart was racing. I wondered why.

"I had Aron delete the video, but with how many views were already on it, I don't think it's doing much good. You haven't ever met the parents of that girl, have you?" I shook my head immediately.

"Anyone that I met is normally dead before they know my name." I sat up. "It's just like that Eric dude, how did his boss know to get a picture of me and send it before I killed him? Have we gotten anything off of the phone?" I asked, excitement filling me for a brief minute. Alex shook his head, sitting up as well.

"The person who set that phone up is smart but my men are smarter. We almost got it unlocked yesterday, but it died- simply because we don't have the right cord. They are still working on it at my warehouse, I can take you one day if you want." He ran a hand through his hair, distracting me. I swallowed past the lump in my throat. Even in a situation like this, he still turned me on so much.

"How complicated can the security on a phone be?" I muttered. Alex laughed, moving closer to me. He moved my hair over my shoulder and kissed my neck. I breathlessly moaned, my hands landing on his shoulders. He grinned against my skin, lighting me up.

"What do you want, Princess, tell me." He murmured. Alex's hands come up to support my back as he kissed his way up from my neck to my lips. I moaned. His tongue traced my lips and then slipped into my mouth, fucking my mouth. My hands tugged on his hair. I wanted him, needed him.

I know that it's not healthy, but he was distracting me from everything. He was making me feel like it would all be okay, like everything would work out even if I didn't try to make it so. His hands slipped under my shirt so that they were pressed against the scars on my back. I immediately felt insecure, and almost pulled away from the kiss, but he pulled me back. His fingers traced my scars, outlining the stories they told. He took care of them in a way that made me feel safe, secured and cared for. Alexander addressed my stories and my history in a way that I was endlessly thankful for, a few tears spilling over in my vulnerability. Alex kissed the tracks down my face.

"Perfect, they are perfect." He murmured against my mouth. I felt like he knew exactly what I was thinking. He made me feel so beautiful, and he made me think that I was worth something, even if that something was just a fuck.

I slid my hands under his shirt, needing to be touching his skin, his tattoos, his imperfect perfections, his muscles, his scars, but he pulled away. "What do you want, tell me." His lips against my neck, his hands on me again. This felt so sureal.

"Please, please distract me," I begged. I know that it made me an awful person, but he could make me feel good. "Make me feel good, please," He slyly smiled.