Loving a Dangerous Life (editing)

Chapter 25 - Talks and tats

"It started when we went to California. Remember me and Lyla went to California to see Disney land? Well, we never got to. Literally two hours after we landed, we were walking around, looking for gifts to bring back for our families, and these men grabbed us, knocking us out." I took a deep breath. "Sorry, it's still hard to talk about," I said. Levi grabbed my hand, and I smiled at her. "You guys don't want to know the things they did to us, but I begged them to stop every second of every day." I looked up at mom. She was crying again, and guilt racked my heart. I hope she isn't too disappointed in her youngest daughter, but if I was her, I would hate me. "You know how sweet, and how innocent Lyla was. I begged them to stop, I begged them to let her go and just hurt me." I blinked a tear from my eye, letting go of Levi's hand and squeezing my own together in my lap so I didn't hurt her.

I didn't trust myself to not cry in front of them. I didn't trust myself to not spill the whole, traumatizing story.

This was so much easier with Alex here. He knew what to say, what to do. I fucking miss his constant little touches.

"So they killed her. They let her go, and they made it worse for me. Remember when I came back, and I told you guys that we missed the plane, and the next one that we could afford was the next month?" I asked. Dad nodded. "That was one of my many lies. I didn't get out for two months, and when I did, I just took mine and Lyla's credits cards and paid for the next flight here. Lyla didn't choose to stay in California, she was dead." My voice was shaking. I could tell that my brother had questions, but I held up my hand. "The next part is the hardest to believe, so please wait till I'm done." I waited for James to nod and then continued.

"I came back and someone who knew what happened approached me, saying they could help me get revenge. They told me that I had to leave you guys so that you didn't get hurt, so I did. They helped me fake my car crash, and the funeral. You know, I was there, at my funeral. I wanted to help you guys because you were all sad because of a lie." I shook my head, the self-hate in my voice was evident. "I went back to California and killed the men that had hurt us. Then I ran to Canada. I disappeared there. No one knew me. I joined the mafia, something I didn't know existed until I was invited in. I transferred gangs, and no one in the new gang knows that I am a girl. I am one of the most skilled killers in the Mafia, and my identity is known to no one. They just know that when they need a job done, I get it done. On my birthday, I was looking at my next mission when there was a bomb." My throat clenched up. Now that I was thinking about Alex, it was so fucking hard to stay calm. I wanted to crawl into my father's arms like I did when I was young, but I can't.

I have to be strong. I have to protect them.

"The bomb exploded, and someone took me to the hospital. I was in a coma for a week, and I was moved to Russia. The person who paid my hospital bills was the person I was supposed to kill. He is the king of the Mafia, meaning he knows every little thing that happens with every single gang, and there are many gangs. I came back home last night because this video of me got out, and my name was on it. A very, very dangerous man saw that video and knows my name. And he's going to come after you guys. The only way I can protect you is if I am close to you. I understand if you don't want me in your house, but I will still be close by."

Silence followed my words. My parents looked horrified to hear that their daughter was a killer. My brother looked confused, and my sister had moved away from me. I swallowed.

I'm scared.

"I'll let that sink in for a minute." I quietly got up, pushing Cama off of me. I walked to the outside door and opened it, letting myself out of the house. Maybe telling my family that I was a killer wasn't the best way to re-introduce myself...

Someone called me back in, and I rushed into the house. My mother looked at me, her eyes wide. My sister was getting water in the kitchen, my father held my mother's hand, running circles over her skin like Alex did with me, with my brother holding his head in his hands.

"Can we see that video?" Dad asked. I nodded and connected my phone to their TV.

"Here go." I played the video, and everyone looked impressed that I had taken down Eric so fast. I leaned against the wall and paused the video.

"Should I leave?" I asked. My mother got up and walked toward me, my father never far behind. "Oh, mom, you've lost weight!" I exclaimed, staring at her waist. She looked skinny now, and a lot healthier than when I had left. She was practically glowing. She reached her arms out and hugged me. I was stiff because I didn't know if it was a goodbye hug or a welcome home hug, and I wasn't used to anyone touching me besides Alex.

"Let me just say that your room is in desperate need of cleaning." She said. I pulled back staring at her.

"I can stay?" I asked. Mom nodded. I crushed her into a hug, laughing, stunned.

"I told you, you are badass." My father said. I laughed.

"Well-" I hesitated. Everyone started laughing.

"So, Audrey, I've always wanted to get a tattoo, but mom keeps saying that someone has to go with me, and Levi doesn't want to..." James began, letting his sentence trail off. I grinned, relief flowing through my veins like poision.

"Of course, I'll go with you bro."