Loving a Dangerous Life (editing)

Chapter 48 - Remembering

Alexander let me stay overnight. He put me in the room that was across from his, and I swear, it felt like I had lived here before. Everything was familiar.

I woke up in the middle of the night, with no reason to be awake- other than my busy mind. I truly love sleeping, but with my mind over-analyzing everything, I don't think I'll be getting much tonight. I adjusted the sweat pants, grabbing a hair tie to keep them up. I quietly snuck downstairs and filled a glass of water. I stared at the window as I drank it.

I don't know what is happening to me. It's like I'm living another person's life at the same time as mine. As I stared out the window, more daydreams came to me.

I was kissing Alexander in his black car. We were walking around a shoe store, laughing as I picked up ridiculous shoes. His hand rested on my thigh at a restaurant. A plane ticket, a note. Alexander standing in the doorway of my family's home. Another plane ticket, this time to Canada. A positive pregnancy test.

I turned away from the window, closing my eyes against the dreams. I slammed my fist into the counter, the confusion and frustration building up and causing me to lose control of my body.

"What the hell is happening to me?" I muttered. I put the glass down, and sat on one of the stools at the counter, putting my head in my hands. I felt someone come into the room, and I sprung up, holding the glass in my hands. I relaxed when it was just Alexander.

"Sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to wake you." I said, swallowing my confusion. My heart raced as he walked toward me. He was just wearing grey sweatpants and no shirt. His hair was messy, and I could see all his tattoos. My eyes dropped to his chest, and his abs. The v-Line on his abs traveled into his pants, into places I didn't want to think about. His Mafia tattoos trailed up and down his chest and back, but I noticed one that wasn't part of the Mafia tattoos. It sat on his hip, and it was a heart, with thorns poking into it. I thought of the heart with chains surrounding it I had on my thigh.

I turned away from him, blushing.

No, no, it's fine, I was just checking out my boss.

"I was already awake. Why are you up?" He asked, now directly behind me. I set the cup down on the counter, wanting to admit that I kept getting these dreams about him, but I couldn't.

"Needed some water," I muttered. "I got it, so I'm going to go now." I turned around only to find Alexander standing close to me. My clumsy ass tripped and I fell, my hands landing on his chest. I blushed even harder. "God, sorry, I'm so stupid." I pulled back from him, but Alexander grabbed my waist, preventing me from moving.

"Why are you up?" He asked. His voice was low and sexy. I swallowed.

"I told you," I said. Alexander chuckled.

"You only actually get out of bed in the night if you are overthinking, Darling." He lifted my waist, placing me on the counter. He stood between my legs, one hand on my hip, the other lifting my chin so that I had to look at him.

"How do you know that?" I asked. Alexander's eyes darkened.

"You can't tell me that you don't remember anything, Princess." He muttered, tucking hair behind my ears. I stuttered.

How the hell does he know about those stupid fucking dreams?

"I don't know what you are talking about." I lied, sticking my nose in the air. Alexander put his mouth next to my ear.

"Oh but you do, Princess. Haven't you wondered how you knew my house so well? Haven't you wondered why you keep getting those memories?" He muttered, his fingers were cold as they dropped from my chin to the side of my throat. My heart skipped a beat as goosebumps erupted on my skin.

"Damnit," I muttered. Alexander chuckled, the sound making me shudder with feelings.

"So I am right." He pulled back from me but kept his hands near.

"Are they memories?" I asked. He nodded, and I sucked in a breath.

"What happened those four months? Were you there? What were we?" Questions spilled out of my mouth. Alexander looked pained.

"I can't tell you." He sighed, turning away from me and shutting me out.

"Oh, don't you dare turn away from me!" I yelled, I lept off of the counter, pulling his pants back up my waist as I stepped in front of him. "It's been three years, and all I've felt is this loneliness, this emptiness, and no one fills it. I don't know how I have these memories, and I am so fucking confused, and you owe me an explanation!" I poked his very hard chest, huffing in annoyance as Alexander chuckled.

"I can't tell you." He said again, his light tone making me madder. I pushed on his chest.

"Then I will go home, and I will demand the information from Zenna," I grinned. Alexander grabbed my hands, pinning them to his chest with just one of his as anger flashed across his face. I was turned around and pinned by his hips to the counter within seconds. He moved his head down so that his breath tickled my neck again.

"Let me show you. It might bring back the memories." I could feel his smile against my neck. I stopped pushing against him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, uncertain. Alexander smirked.

"When's the last time you were fucked, really fucked? When's the last time you forgot everything but his name, huh?"My lips parted as with every word he spoke, his lips teased the sweet spot on my neck. "When's the last night you came over and over again until you couldn't move?" His hands dropped to my hips and I gaped. "I know the answer." He muttered, biting my ear slightly.

"Three years ago. Because since I fucked you, you've been breaking hearts because they can't please you, but I know what it takes. I know how to make you scream and beg me to stop or keep going. I know what it takes to make you unable to walk the next day. I know, Princess."

My thighs squeezed together in the middle of the kitchen.

"Sir, we can't." I slightly moaned as he bit the weak spot on my neck. "I have- I have a boyfriend." I lamely made excuses. Alexander kissed down my neck and held my body up against his.

"Then you tell him that you've found your Alex again." He muttered, pushing me against the wall. I moaned as he kissed my shoulder, and then my collarbone. He slightly pulled away from me, resting his forehead on mine.

"So, Princess, what do you say that I show you what we used to be?"