Carrying the banner

Chapter 16

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RACES POV

TW mentions of Rape

I had gotten absolutely no sleep at all that night my mind just wondering about Y/N and if she was ok. We decided we would start at Newsie Square in case she showed up there which she did. But in Spots arms. Everyone was stunned because she looked TERRIBLE. I ran up her and practically ripped her out of Spots arms before screaming at him "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER". "I ain't done nothin to hers I found her dat way with dem Delancey's on her and what they were doing was-" he looked at the ground then back up at me "bad" he finished. I had so many questions I kind of wanted to kill spot for everything he's done to Y/N but also thank him. Jack came up to me saying "Racer take her back to the lodge she's prolly exhausted and I'll talk to Spot" Y/N started stirring in my arms "Im fine" everyone then said "no you're not". "Fine but put me down for a second" she said and I did put her down but she had to hold onto me. After a couple seconds she said "okay can we just go back to the lodging house now?" "Yes sweet cheeks" I said and picked her up again. She buried her head into my chest and I put her in my bunk.

I sat down next to her and looked into her eyes as she did the same. "I'm so happy to have you back Y/N" I said truthfully. Then I gave her a hug which she flinched hard to but then melted into "I'm so happy to be back with you" she whispered. "Can you lie down with me" she asked in a whisper. I did just that and we fell asleep but we're awoken by the rowdy boys.

I looked to see if Y/N was awake and she was. She asked "can you bring me downstairs I want to say hi to everyone" "you got it" I said. We went downstairs and everyone stopped what they were doing and spontaneously all yelled "Y/N!" And hugged her. Jack came up and hugged her again. "I'm sorry about what you went through" followed by another hug from Albert "we're always here for you Y/N" he breathed. I won't lie it made me a little jealous to see Jack and Albert up on her but I knew they were just scared for her sake. Y/N came back to me and I gave her a giant bear hug and we swayed for a minute. It was really nice. "I'm so happy to see all of you but I'm going to go upstairs night boys" she says. She turns to the stairs and starts to try and climb them. Remember I said Tried well after about two stairs she fell. Jack ran over to her and brought her upstairs which made me a bit more jealous but I followed them and shooed Jack out so I could hold her in my arms. "Let's go on the fire escape" she said . "Ok sweet cheeks" I said kissing her cheek but then it got pink of embarrassment. I laughed as I helped her out on to the fire escape.

"Y/N I am so sorry I wasn't there when those jackasses we're-" I was cut off with her head on my shoulder. "Y/N" I said her eyes brimmed with tears. "The first time you guys were there I was so thankful and this time I- I don't know but I hated every second of it the pain the feeling the-" she started to sob. "All I could think about was-" she cut herself off with another sob.

She cried for a little before asking to go it. I held her close to me and whisperd "I don't ever want to let go" and places a kiss on her forehead. "Please don't" she whispered back. She looked into my eyes and I kissed her but she immediately pushed me away. I felt so bad "Y/N I'm sorry I forg-" "I just don't want you to do that to me right now" she said slowly. I nodded and brought her inside.

I set her down and once her head hit the pillow she was asleep. I went downstairs to talk to Jack because he said he talked to Conlon.

"Jack" I said and he was sitting with some of the boys playing poker. "Yeah Racer" he responded. "What did Spot say" I asked he looked at me then back at his cards then back at me "he said that the damn Delancey's raped her then he said" Jack stopped talking and just looked at his cards for a second. "He said that he still in love with her and only was nice to her to try and win her over" Jack finished. "Race he ain't gonna stop until she's his you need to be careful" Jack said. "I know but I still can't believe what they did to 'er I tried ta kiss her and she looked like I just tried to stab her I-" I looked at my hands and felt tears forming but I can't be feeling this when she's the one who LIVED THROUGH IT. "Hey man she's gonna be okay" JoJo said. I couldn't even talk because there was a huge lump in my throat. I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let go but I didn't want to scare her and I didn't want to break down in front of her and make her feel guilty because it WAS NOT her fault. I got up and slid into bed with Y/N she felt me and she shot straight up. "Oh Race" a tiny smile formed on her face. Then she put her head in my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around her. "Can I lay down with you" I asked and then she nodded into my neck "Yes Racer but don't ever let go" she said so quietly I almost couldn't hear. I laid on my back and she put her head on my chest and drew figures on my chest until she fell asleep.

NEXT MORNING

Y/N POV

Naturally I awoke to the boys rowdiness. There were a chorus of "Good Morning Y/N" and "How are ya feeling". "Morning" I said quietly. "How are you feeling?" Crutchie asked me "i'm fine" I whispered. "No you ain't" Jack said coming up from behind me and placing his hand on my shoulder "NO" I screamed. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me "Y/N-" "DONT TOUCH ME" I yelled. I felt a lot better except for my leg so I sort of hopped away onto the fire escape and started to cry again. Then Jack walked onto the fire escape which I didn't like "Y/N please I didn't mean to do anything to scare you just" he stopped and hugged me "JACK GET OFF" I screamed. I don't know what it was but Jack reminded me of the Delancey's for some reason and I couldn't shake them out of my head whenever I saw Jack. When I screamed Jack only tightened his grip "STOP GET OFF" I yelled even louder and I heard footsteps make their way to the window that connected the lodging house and the fire escape. Then a bunch of the boys heads popped out "Jack what are ya doin" Albert asked. "help" I whispered. Albert noticed my fear and lunged at Jack pulling him off me. "Jack what the hell" Mush yelled "Shes yelling for you to get off and you just get on her harder Whats the Madda wit youse" Crutchie Says. "Y/N let's go inside, I'm gonna hold your hand is that okay?" Albert asked I nodded and flinched a bit when he held my hand but once we got inside I let go and ran or rather wobbled to the bathroom locking myself in a stall so hopefully no one could get in. "Y/N" Albert whispered outside the door as I started to sob again. Everything reminded me of those damn Delancey's. "I'll go get the Racer" Albert sighed.

I sat on the floor in the bathroom as silent-ish sobs escaped from my mouth and tears rolled down my cheeks. "Y/N" Racetracks voice came from behind the door. "I won't touch you I promise but please let me in" he whispered. All I did was whimper and let out a small "no". "That's okay I'm just gonna sit on this side of the door and when you're ready unlock the door i'll be here okay" he said I nodded even though I knew he wouldn't be able to see me. A few minutes later after I calmed down a bit I scooted over to the door so my back was on it. "Jack just touched my shoulder and it made me freak out which isn't good. But then he came out and hugged me on purpose knowing I couldn't handle that I-" I started to choke up. "Everything is so- I'm just afraid one of you guys will hurt me" "Y-N that will.not.happen. I'm going to make sure the guys know not to touch you or anything like that and as for Jack he's gonna know never to do that again" he spoke firmly but I could hear the wordiness in his voice. I slowly unlocked the door and it creaked open a bit. He pushed it open more and asked "Y/N can I hold your hand" I slowly slipped my hand into his and I put my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that a bit before I told him to go sell. He sighed and gave my hand a squeeze before leaving. 

AFTER SELLING

RACES POV

I got back from selling making sure that Y/N was asleep when I told everyone the new boundaries. She was fast asleep which was probably good for her health.

"Alright boys come ova here" they all crowded around me "How's Y/N doin" Crutchie asked. "Why's she actin so crazy" Jack asked when he said that I snapped. "She's not acting crazy Jack she was Raped and I swear if I hear one more crazy ass thing like that leave your mouth you will be talking with a fist in it" I spit with venom lacing my words.

"Moving on from that just don't touch her I know the first thing Jack did this morning was innocent but it lead to something big so to just keep that from happening again just don't touch her also try not to bring up the way she way before it happened okay?" I say "we got it Racer we just want Y/N better" Crutchie says and it is followed by "Yes"s and "what he saids".

After my little lecture with the guys I go upstairs to see Y/N looking out through the window going through the fire escape. "Morning Doll" I say she turns to me and shoots me a weak smile. "Good news Specs says you'll be able to sell again tomorrow you know if you want" she smiles a genuine smile before a worried one takes over. "Hey hey hey I will NOT let anything happen to you if you choose to come back tomorrow" she nods and places herself in my lap and she hugs me, I embrace her happily. We stay like that for a little while before she brings me to the fire escape. She sits back in my lap as we get on the fire escape and places a soft kiss on my lips. I return it instantly. We stay like that for a little while and I won't lie I've longed for her lips but the second she's uncomfortable I will make sure she knows I'm not mad or anything like that. I need her to know I love her. I love Y/N L/N.