Our new year

C#30

Thanks to KateHP for editing this chapter.
_______________________________
As soon as his eyes caught the name Megan on the screen, he felt a weird feeling inside his heart like his heart tighten and seemed like he will have a mini panic attack within seconds.

Keiran was standing in the middle of the mart with a confused expression. Now that was something he hated the most about living with his aunt. She handed him the duty to buy groceries from the mart every Sunday. Keiran always forgot to bring one or two items from the list made by Stella. Most of the time, he would pretend that he forgot to buy any specific item, but really he always felt too lazy to go up to the racks and stock the items.

Just like always, Keiran was here searching for items in the list.
"Flour, check! Soya source, check! Black pepper . . . oh no. . ." Keiran forgot to grab black pepper. The rack of spices were on the end of the mart and Keiran was standing on the other end.

'Way too far from me."

"Uhmm, how about I forget to buy it?" Keiran smirked and went to the counter to pay for the items.

It was Sunday, officially their last day of summer holidays. The month of September was starting tomorrow. Summers long gone and now the gloomy winters were on their way.

Keiran paid for the items and picked up the large plastic bags of items and walked towards the parking lot. He finally stuffed the bags in the back seat and sat in the driving seat, all set to go home and relax by lying on the couch to enjoy the last day of holidays.

His phone started ringing and he checked the number. It was unknown.
He picked it up and brought it to his ears.

"Who's this?" he asked.

"Guess." As soon as he heard the voice, he recognized it immediately.

"Megan!" he said, with the tone 'OBVIOUSLY'. She giggled.

"Are you home?" she asked suddenly.

"No, I am at the mart".

"Awesome! Let’s meet!" she sounded cheerful and Keiran knew she was smiling brightly on the other side.

"I'm busy." The words came out of his mouth a bit too quickly as if he didn't want to see her.

"Oh! It's okay. I totally understand. we can meet-" she tried to hide the sudden change in her tone.The sadness was clear and the excitement was gone. The rejection made her feel a little embarrassed but she tried her best to hide it in her voice.

"Okay, let's meet," Keiran said, cutting her off. His mind was playing games with him. A minute ago he refused to meet her but the moment he sensed the sadness in her voice his mind changed immediately.

They decided to meet in a cafe. Keiran couldn't tell why he agreed to meet her. Something inside him told him to say yes. Why did he care if her excitement was gone? It wasn’t his business anyway.

He drove to the cafe and entered the tiny cafe. He was scanning for an empty table. He knew that she wouldn’t be here too soon, but a figure standing close to a table waved at him. He looked at the person and he recognized that face immediately. She was standing there waving at him with bright smile. So many memories came floating in front of his eyes. He didn't forget even a single one of them. He remembered everything clearly and vividly.

He slowly approached her. She was still smiling.

'Her smile is still the same. The energy, the cheerfulness is still in her.'

The thing Keiran loved about Megan was her smile. It was so carefree, natural, and even made her eyes shine brightly.

"Keiran!" she exclaimed when he reached the table. "Thank God you came."

Keiran was feeling awkward. Everyone felt awkward when they meet a person they used to know. It doesn't matter how close you were, the awkwardness stays there.

Keiran glance at her and soon realized that she was all relaxed. Not even a single crease line was formed on her forehead. She smiled again as Keiran looked away the uneasiness was making him not to look at her.

Suddenly he felt something warm touched his hand. He looked at his hand and saw Megan’s hand placed over his hand. That was something he wasn't expecting, but he didn't argue. His voice was stuck in his throat.

"Are you really okay?" Megan asked him, looking deep into his eyes. Her eyes were looking in his to find an honest answer. Keiran knew what she meant by that question. She wasn't asking it generally, she was directing him to the memory of last time they saw each other.

"I'm good." Keiran’s answers was diplomatic, but he didn't want to blabber about what kind of hell he been through after the breakup.

"I'm going to get you something to drink." Keiran changed the topic and walked towards the counter.

Megan was staring at him from the table. Keiran was messing his hair with his fingers over and over again, something he did when he's super nervous. He was waiting in line to order the drinks. A small smile appeared on Megan's lips.

Finally, Keiran stopped by with their drinks and placed the large cup of strawberry ice cream shake in front of her and then went to his seat to settle down.
"Your taste hasn't changed right?" Keiran asked, looking at her and then the shake.

"Nope," she replied.

"You still remembered what I used to order?" Megan was shocked but the smile never left her face. Keiran shrugged his shoulder.

"Why did you call?" Keiran asked, remembering that she wanted to talk to him.

"Oh yes. The reason I called because I wanted to know where you’ve been all these years. I mean-I looked for you everywhere. You just disappeared into thin air." Megan stopped talking.There was so much she wanted to talk to him about, but the words just stuck in her mouth.

"And why exactly were you looking for me?" Keiran replied coldly. "There was no point of looking for me after what you did to me."

"Keiran...." His name came out of her mouth softly. "Look!I was-I was looking for you because I wanted to say......... sorry. " She was hesitating to say that out loud, but she somehow gathered the courage to ask for forgiveness. Keiran was in shock for a little moment after he heard her say sorry.

"Look! After you were gone, I felt sad and guilty and a complete bitch.To be honest, when I saw you there at the restaurant, I knew it was my only chance to say sorry. I knew God had planned much better for us." Megan kept on talking. Keiran didn't say a word. He just listened.

He remembered everything that happened two years ago, everything.The kind of problems and fears he had to face because of her. He waited each day for this day. The day when Megan would finally say the word SORRY. He couldn't believe she finally said this to him. He was completely speechless by this sudden action.

"Aren't you going to say something?" The sadness was clear in her eyes as well as the shame and guilt.

"For how long did you search for me?" Keiran asked.

"For months. I even called your mom few times but she told me you moved out. I tried to ask for your address contact number but she never told me. She always made excuses. I could sense it she didn't want us to talk or even meet,” Megan said, trying her best to explain to him everything.

"My mom? She never told me you called her! When did you call her?" Keiran said in disbelief.

"The last time I called was a week before New Year’s Eve."

Keiran fell deep in thought. She called his mother the time when he didn't meet Belle. At that time he didn't know who Belle was.

A weird scenario came into his mind. 'What if something like that happened? What if his mother told him about Megan calling her, and Megan and Keiran’s relationship started again and Belle never be in the picture.'

As he came back to reality, he hit his head with his own hands. The thought of not having Belle in his life was scary and he told himself not to imagine such a stupid thing like this again.

"I got to go," Keiran said, standing up from the chair. He went in the direction towards the exit, leaving Megan behind.

Megan quickly followed him and grabbed his arm to stop him. "Am I going to see you again?"

Keiran remained silent for a few seconds, his mind deciding to say a yes or no. He was confused. "I don't know." As these words left his mouth, he removed her hand from his arm and walked out of the cafe, without giving her a second look.

Keiran was driving with high speed. His mind was confused, confused about so many things.

'Why didn't I say no to her? Why didn't I say “I don't forgive you”? Why? Why? why? Or should I forgive her? Or should I make her wait and make her feel more guilty?'

He slammed the steering wheel few times to release the anger inside him, especially when he didn't know what to do. The state of confusion and frustration was driving him nuts.

He took out his phone from his pocket and dialed his mother’s number. After two to three rings, she finally picked up.

"Hello, my brave-" Her voice was soft and sounded happy.

"Did Megan call you sometime around December when I moved here?" His question caught her off guards. She remained silent.

"Mom, I asked you something." He was trying to sound normal, but his tone was too obvious to tell that he was angry.

"Ugh! Uhm yes. She called me few times to talk to you,” she said, hesitating.

"Why didn't you tell me? Huh? Mom, you knew I loved her. You knew it too well. Then why? If I knew at that time I would have never moved here; I would have stayed there with MEGAN."

"I did it because I didn't want to make you suffer anymore, Keiran! I didn't want to bring her again in your life. When a chapter is closed it's closed! You don't reopen it over and over again. That girl gave you enough pain when you were together. I didn't want history to repeat. The moment you went into that deep state of depression because of her, I thought I will lose you forever. I wanted you to find someone else, someone more deserving. I'm sorry to make you angry and keeping it a secret from you, but I did it for you."

Before Keiran could reply to her, she hung up.

Keiran let out a loud sigh. He was feeling calm after talking to his mother.

Maybe she is right. There was never a Megan and Keiran thing. Maybe it was never meant to be. Maybe I do deserve someone else.

His brain was having these thoughts but his heart was still a little confused.
__________________

Updated:13-march-2014