Anything is possible

Chapter 13

Two weeks later

"Hayley love, can you help me with filling my suitcases?" I hear Jonny yelling from his bedroom

"I'm coming!" I reply back

Today is Saturday and he'll leave on Monday because of the American leg of the world tour. He's very excited to come back playing all around the world with his best friends for their lovely fans, but in the meantime he's sad too because this involves leaving me here in London and I'm too because I won't see him for months! The only thing we'll be able to do will be chatting, using Skype to see each other and stuff. Never an hug, a cuddle, a kiss... Nothing.

I'm scared I won't handle and cope his absence, I'm emotionally vulnerable and I don't know how I'm going to react. Will I have nightmares? Will I be anxious and nervous? Will I get depressed again? Will I cry all my fluids till my body will be dry? Will I hurt myself? I really don't know and want, stop dark periods, stop the past. I'm changed and I hope I won't fall again, by the way there are my best friends here, so they will help me and I'll concentrate a lot on the university to pass with a good mark the next exam. This one I did a week ago went very well also thanks to Jonny's skills and patience. If you look at him the first time he can appear shy, closed in himself and silent, but if you know him well, you know he isn't like that but cheerful, sweet and funny.

While overthinking, I reach his bedroom where Jonny is dealing with his luggages too full to be closed. I hug him from behind tightly and he turns facing me, so I can rest my head on his chest. I close my eyes and bite my lower lip trying to not cry, but I can't and I explode crying loudly, so he caresses my hair and kisses my forehead, then looks into my eyes and kisses at the corner of the right one to dry one of the tears. He's so cute and kind, he knows I'm like this because he's leaving and doesn't ask anything to not make the pain rise. Then he smiles and my world lights up and I smile back still with my tears flowing down my cheeks.

"I love you Jonathan Mark Buckland." I tell him while kissing his soft mouth

"Nobody calls me with my full name, but said by you is even better than my nickname. I love you too, Hayley no-middle-name Smith." He states pecking my lips again

"I like the 'no-middle-name' thing... You're incredible, love." I chuckle

"Promise me you won't be sad and cry anymore, promise me." He turns serious

"How can you ask me this? You know I'm..."

"I know you're the strongest person I've ever known, you'll cope with my absence, I'm sure you'll do." He interrupts me cupping my face and staring at it

"No Jon, I'm not... If I were I'd never try to suicide. I don't want to come back in the past, it's like a dark forest with dangerous plants and animals that were in my head. You made me escape from that trap and you're still doing and I hope you'll do in my future, our future. If I ever lost you, I'd come back in that horrible place and there'd be no return, only a direction. The end."

"I can't leave you, I'll never do. You're like oxygen to me, the lifeblood running in my body. Can a human live without blood, air, water and heart? You're all these things, rather you're Hayley and this is enough to me. I belong to you, I live because of you."

He begins to kiss me, firstly slowly and with brief pecks, then our tongues join the dance and passion arises as we go on. Between a kiss and another, he reaches my left ear and whispers he needs me with a low voice which makes me burn inside and turns me on. In few seconds we fall onto the bed, which is on the opposite side where we were before, then he leaves a purplish mark on my tiny collarbone suckling my flesh and groans. I tangle my fingers with his hair and bend my back backwards, so he pulls away his shirt and then mine, followed by his pants and my skinny jeans and we are only with underwear on. His big hands go up from my tummy to reach my bra and pull it off exposing my breasts, and his lips kiss every single inch of my body that shivers at his soft but full of desire touch. The night is going to be very long.