supernova, kirisaya

𝑻𝑾𝑶 / was it all a dream?

Listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkgyOZxIw0k&list=PLEle4lyGMYVwP3kP527HqrQ1owip_qReS&index=11

𝒌𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒊 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒐𝒃𝒂𝒎𝒊

"H-huh?"

My eyes flew open. Sayaka and I, we were just falling- weren't we? I could have sworn it was just a minute ago... w-was it a dream? Free-falling through the calm night air, into the field of lilies.

She doesn't think I care about her. How could I even make her feel that way? Of course I do. She's the other half of me, besides my twin. She's logical and I'm illogical. She's dark-haired and I'm blonde. She's strategic, I'm creative. She hates gambling, while I absolutely love it.

I don't understand her, just how she can't understand me. I long to figure her out, what's alluring about her, and what parts I see of myself in her. I want to know her better than I know myself.

But speaking of which, where is she?

My eyes adjusted to the fluorescent lighting of the room. It was a simplistic gray-and-white room. I recognized it: I was in a hospital bed? Sitting up abruptly and looking down at my lap; I saw both my arms covered in stiff casts. They ran all the way up from my wrists to my shoulders. 

Realizing how I couldn't move my upper-body, I saw that I was in a stiff gray cast that covered my whole chest and down to my bellybutton.

Flinching, I felt a sharp pang of pain run through my head, like a dagger wound. I reached up to feel a tight bandage around my head, drawing it back to see warm blood trickling through my fingers. What the-

"Excuse me, K-kaichou?"

I looked up with my weary eyes to see a few members of the student council. Runa Yomotsuki, a short and cheerful blonde girl; Ririka Momobami, my quiet twin sister and the vice president; and Yumemi Yumemite, a famous YourTube idol. Their faces were solemn, staring down at the ground.

"W-what happened to me?"

"You jumped off the Tower of Doors when Sayaka-chan lost that bet against Yumeko-chan." D-do you remember?" Runa asked carefully. 

"U-uhm... I do."

Yumemi stared down at the ground. She sniffled softly, bowing her head to me. I think she was crying?

"Yumemite-san, what is the problem?" I inquired calmly.

"I-I'm sorry, I just can't-" she began to sob, running out of the room.

I turned to my twin. She wasn't wearing her mask today. But even so, she couldn't face me. "Kirari, I'm so sorry."

"W-what? Is there something you're not telling me, Riri?" I furrowed my brows.

"Kirari-san, when you jumped off the tower with Sayaka, you were..." Runa stopped to take a breath. She looked up at me with heartbroken eyes. "-the only one to survive."

I could have sworn all the wind was knocked out of me. I doubled over, grasping the sides of my body. The air was literally begin sucked out.

"H-how?" I managed.

"When..." Now Runa began to cry, a painful sound. She wiped her eyes vigorously. "W-when Sayaka-chan placed her hand over your head, it protected your spine and skull from any irreparable damage. Even s-so, you broke both arms, fractured three of your vertebrae, broke a lot of your ribs, and also cracked your skull open. Y-you're lucky to even be alive..."

I looked down at myself. In all of my blood-matted, bone-broken, and bruised condition; I still was alive?!? But why me?  I'm... a horrible person. I take and I take and I take away people's self-respect, their lives. I took away somebody's eyeball, even as a prize from a gambling match. I rob people of everything.

I even drove the previous student council president to suicide, from winning in the match against her- which ensure my spot as the president.

I don't even deserve to live. Not like how Sayaka should have. 

I should have died! Not her!! Not the most important person in the whole world to me. With wide eyes, I stared up at the ceiling. 

And then I began to scream at the top of my lungs, as loud as possible.