an alternate universe where sayaka isn't so lucky in her fall from the tower of doors.
content warnings: death, depression, language, suicide attempt, substance abuse
*Warning, suicide attempt. Please don't read if this triggers you.*
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She slide the letter on her desk in the councilroom. Simply setting it down, she had written her sister's name on a manila envelope. She had stared at it for a few minutes, contemplating, a million thoughts running through her mind. What if the elders didn't accept Ririka as their head? What if the council disbanded from Ririka's presidency? What if-
'This is for the better,' Kirari thought to herself. 'They're going to be better off without me and my issues. My selfishness. My sadistic tendencies. Me myself, the monster.'
The platinum-haired woman's shoes made a clicking sound as she crossed the smooth, white tile floor. Her cerulean eyes peered around the large modern walls and spacious, lit ceiling. It was currently around 7pm. Before she arrived, she had made sure to eat an entire box of coconut mochi, her favorite food. Something along the lines of her last meal, like what prisoners were given on death row.
She deserved to be on death row, anyways, she thought.
Tugging her silky ebony hair ribbons loose, her platinum hair fanned out around her. Tonight was a windy night, the same as that fated night months ago. She placed those ribbons, her leather Prada wallet, and heeled loafers by the edge of one of the five open doors.
Realizing this was the door labeled one in Braille, she knew it was the highest trajectory in which she could plummet from. The higher, the better. A more probable success rate.
She inhaled in the air of the glowing lily field down below, and peered up at the full moon that shone up above the grand tower. She turned around, hair billowing like a cape around her. Her heels teetered on the edge of the floor, jumping dangerously low.
"KIRARI!"
Her head snapped to see a carbon-copy of herself, mask in hand, running towards the tower. The doors were closed, so the Vice President pounded on them, begging.
"Kirari, no! Please, don't, please!" Tears were cascading down her face, giving her an ethereal look in the glowing field.
Her younger twin sister just shook her head, smiling softly. A serene sort acceptance, one that Ririka could never understand, had dawned on her. There was nothing she, Ririka, or anybody could do. The world would simply be better off without her. And not only that, she would finally be at peace.
At last. Those months of hell. The pills, the drinking, the crying in the bathtub, the smudged lipstick, the fake smiles. Those would be gone. She would be free.
"Ririka!" She called, placing her arm against the doorframe. "It's okay." She smiled, her lips curving into a calm, placid expression. She tried to comfort her twin. "It's going to be okay. I know it's selfish. But you're going to be-"
"No! I'm not, Kirari!! You helped me get through it! The abuse, the oppression, all of it!!!" pleaded her sister, sobbing now. "Please don't do this, you're my sister, my twin, my other half, come on!! I love you! I will miss you!"
"I know that, but you want the best for me. And this," she gestured to herself, "is the best." She turned her back to Ririka, exhaling deeply.
Tuning out her twin's screams, she closed her eyes softly, smiling. So this was what it was like. How Sayaka did it, that accepting and serene smile across her face, even when facing death. A love lost, but the beauty of it still lingering. A feeling of lightness, utter calm and helplessness. So that was what Yumeko meant. Helplessness, against your own will. How romantic.
'I agree, Yumeko. I now understand what you meant by that. Feeling helpless makes you feel useless, but also calm. Like nobody wants anything from you. And you can be at peace.' She thought.
The supernova she so desperately lusted after.
It was all right in front of her. She just needed to take the jump.
"I do, too, humbly offer you my love, Sayaka." She uttered ever-so-softly. She tilted her body back, the feeling of weightlessness was the best she'd ever felt in months.
"Kirari, NO!!!"
Plummeting towards oblivion... - no. Towards finally being with Sayaka.
