help

monster

His hand moved swiftly across the page, stopping every once in a while to type on the computer. Numbers of all kinds ran across the paper, numbers that would look random and unorganized to most people.

But not to Bruce.

Maybe that's why he never had trouble with people looking into his work, no one would be able to read or understand it except himself. Or maybe, they just weren't interested in what he was doing and more so in what he was.

Bruce didn't know what he was trying to figure out, he only knew that there had to be an answer in these numbers as to why and how Loki could be innocent. He was a smart man, but no matter how many times he ran things over in his head, he couldn't figure it out.

Or maybe he didn't want to. Because the more he thought about that man, the more he realized how alike they were.

When Thor had told him, and the rest of the Avengers, about Loki's presumed death, he felt his heart stop. Loki let go because he didn't feel like there was anything left for him that was worth holding on to.

Just like Bruce had after becoming the Hulk.

It was as if one day changed his entire life and his view of the world. Science ruined his life, and for months he thought it could maybe save it. He tried everything and anything he could think of to try and rid himself of the Hulk but found nothing. And when he found nothing, he realized that he'd be stuck that way forever, and that thought alone led him to that day.

He had yet to understand how to control his other side, how he would keep going in life. He saw no other possible way to go back to the way things were and thought he didn't have anything left that was worth living for, just like Loki.

He was just like Loki, he tried to say goodbye to life, and life responded with a big fucking no.

Even today, he still felt that way, like he was constantly on the verge of something, but he didn't know what. People were always trying to keep him stable and treating him like glass, scared that if even a small scratch were to form, he'd break.

No one wanted to see him break, especially himself.

He didn't even know where to begin with Loki now. With Loki possibly being innocent, being mind-controlled, the entire situation was beyond him. Yet, he couldn't stop thinking of ways that he could help Loki if it were true. Because maybe it is true.

"Why so quiet, Stark?"

The voice, Natasha's voice, cut through his brain, and he heard Tony jump up beside him. No matter how many times he reminded himself that he learned to deal with situations like this, he still felt weird about it. He closed his computer and turned towards the other two, listening in to what they were saying.

Tony stared at him, confused. "How were you not frightened?"

Bruce sighed, god, he hated the assumption that he wasn't capable of controlling himself (though was he truly capable?). "If I was able to 'hulk out' simply by being startled, then most of the world would be severely destroyed by now," he responded.

Tony continued to stare at him. "So you learned not to be frightened."

He shrugged. "It's rather simple when you really think about it."

"So, what did you do?" Tony asked, intrigued. "Have a bunch of people scare you to see if you'd turn big or-?"

"Boys, we have more important things to discuss," Natasha interrupted.