I've Got Red In My Ledger

Chapter Seven

I'm inside getting us all drinks, and I glance over my shoulder to see both Wanda and Yelena laughing. We're sitting outside in the dark as to draw as little attention to ourselves as possible, and it makes me happy to see them like that.
Wanda is sitting beside Yelena, and from what I can see is helping her adjust the bandage on her arm.
"What can I get you?" I'm distracted, and turn to order.

Being with Yelena again, seeing how grown up she is now... I can't even begin to explain it. But doing it with Wanda beside me? That feeling is something that I'll never forget. I smile when I think about her.
About the way that she's so scared that she's going to be the reason something happens to me, but she didn't pull away when I leaned in to kiss her. She didn't pull back, or tell me to stop. And then she kissed me again. Her lips soft and sweet.
I take the drinks and walk outside with them.
"Natasha, I specifically told you to get food. The alcohol is great, but I am starving." Yelena complains, and Wanda laughs.
I wonder what they've been talking about, but whatever it is, they're both happy, and that makes me happy.
"Relax, Yelena. You have to wait a little bit for food to come." I roll my eyes, sitting down and handing her a drink. Wanda finishes with Yelena's arm and comes and sits beside me.
"Well that's stupid," Yelena sighs, taking a big mouthful of her beer. "Who wants to order their food and not get it for ages? That's not cool."
Wanda leans into me slightly, and I can't help but smile, because she's just so... good. She's a good person.
"So no one jumped up in the middle of the shop and went hey, I know you!" She smiles as she looks up at me. I lean down and gently kiss her forehead, and I feel her relax.
I am so in love with this woman.
"Thankfully, they did not." I tell her. "I don't think that SHIELD would have their shit together enough to actually come and get us within twelve hours of discovering our whereabouts."
"Where did you think I was this whole time?" Yelena asks.
"Honestly, I thought you'd made it out. I thought you were living a normal life." I watch her, and I can tell that she doesn't believe me. "And I truly thought that you wouldn't want to see me again."
Yelena shakes her head. "Why would you think that?"
"Because I should have done more to protect you,"  I murmur, and Wanda reached out and takes my hand. Much like herself, she knows that I have the tendency to blame myself for anything bad that happens to people I care about. She knows that I have spent so long wondering what else I could have done to get Yelena out. When she was taken, I'd already been to the Red Room before, I'd already started training. I was chosen to go and stay with Melina and Alexei, knowing that the life we were creating in Ohio was a lie. Yelena just... arrived one day, too young to know that we weren't just a big, happy family.
"And you know that. You know that I could've done more."
To my surprise, Yelena just shakes her head. "You couldn't have stopped them." She pauses. "I didn't expect you to stop me from being taken, but I did think that maybe you'd come back for me. Security increased after you left. It got harder. We were under constant watch, but I kept waiting for you to come back for me. Because I knew that if anyone was going to get me out... it would be you. But I got myself out."
"I didn't... I didn't know where the Red Room was... I didn't know where you were. I searched for you, I tried to find where you might be, but I couldn't find you anywhere."
"Oh please, you just didn't want your baby sister coming along and taking all of your glory."
"That's not true, Yelena." Wanda sits up straight. "The two of us tried to find you. Nat talked about trying to find you from the moment she first told me about you and where you were. She always talked about you." I'm glad that Wanda can defend me, that she talks. Because I know that I'd end up opening my mouth and saying something that I'd regret.
Yelena just changes the subject, smiling. "Wanda, have you noticed how she always does that thing?"
Wanda smiles, her nose scrunching up as she does so. I love it when she does that, and I can't help find myself staring at her.
"What thing?" I ask, and Yelena laughs.
"That things she does when she's fighting. Have you noticed?"
"Show me," Wanda laughs, and Yelena stands up. I roll my eyes.
She imitates me. "The thing you do with your hair, and the... you whip your hair and you do the thing with your arm when you're fighting." Yelena pauses, sitting back down. Wanda laughs. "You're such a poser," Yelena tells me.
I can't help but smile, and even laugh a little bit because the two of them are sitting there laughing.
"She does, doesn't she?" Wanda nudges me. "It's okay. I like it. We all have our poses."
"Well, when I was so busy posing, I was trying hard to undo what I've done. I've caused so much pain and suffering... and I just... wanted to be better." I pause, thinking of my time in the Red Room, of Clint and all the others I've had no choice but to hurt. "I just want to be more than a trained killer."
"Natasha, you are fooling yourself. Pain and suffering is everyday, and at the end of it, we're still just trained killers. That's all we are." Yelena mutters.
Wanda shakes her head. "No you're not." She pauses, looking at the two of us. "You're more than that. You don't have to be what people think you are." She takes a drink, before continuing. Yelena is distracted by the fact the food is arriving. We all look down at the ground, ensuring that the waiter doesn't see our faces. "I'm the Scarlet Witch. I use Chaos Magic." She looks down at the table, not touching her food. "It's dangerous. I have the powers of a killer, but that doesn't mean I am one."
I can't even begin to explain how I need to hear her words. Wanda always says exactly what you need to hear.
Yelena sits quietly, Wanda's words soaking into her.
"You were raised as killers, but that doesn't mean you have to be one." She continues, and glances over at me. "Besides, you did what you had to do to survive in Dreykov's world. That doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a survivor."
I can't help but feel speechless. Her words were beautiful, so thoughtful and kind.
"Thank you," I murmur, and Wanda squeezes my hand.
"Of course. It's true." She tells me softly.
And I suppose it is true. The way Wanda said it sticks in my head.
"I suppose you're right." Yelena says eventually.
"Of course she is," I smile, and Yelena laughs.
"I don't know how the other Avengers didn't think anything if you two together. It's just so... obvious." She smirks. "But anyway. Back to the topic."