The One Who Lived

Chapter Thirteen

After that night — aka the night of my mental breakdown — two weeks ago, my parents actually moved forward with the renovation plans.

My dad took down the wall that I basically destroyed, and then paid some guys to put in the new floors and cabinets. Before they did any of that, we signed all of our names on the wall with Anni's in the middle.

I guess that this is our way of making sure Anni is in our memories without actually being here.

While the new wall, floors and kitchen extension are great — my favorite part is that mom actually convinced dad to let her paint the cabinets. My mom finally got to fulfill her dream, so she painted them yellow, and while I normally hate yellow, they genuinely make me happy when I look at them.

It probably sounds stupid, but I know these cabinets are the start of new memories that my family needs to make. I know they are the start of memories that I can't simply hate because Anni isn't in them. This is our new reality and as much as I hate it, I can't let it control me or ruin me.

"Did you hear the rumor?" Kadence's voice interrupts my tranquility.

I look up at her with a dark glare because I have no idea why she just sat down in front of me, and I have no idea why she is even talking to me. "No, Kadence. I haven't heard, but I am guessing that you are probably going to tell me." I snap making her roll her eyes at me like she is annoyed that I am still annoyed at her.

I think one of things that has changed the most about me since Anni's death is how I now know nothing about anyone.

I used to know every detail and secret about everyone else's lives, but I don't have that anymore. I used to care and want to know, but now it all just seems stupid. It all doesn't really matter, and most of it is honestly none of my business.

Kadence grins as she props her head up with her fists. "I heard that your sister was hooking up with one of your best friends, and I also heard that it was the one that you are currently in love with." Kadence says making my eyebrows furrow.

This is just what I need right now.

The last thing that I genuinely don't need is some dumb school whispers about my life that no one even knows anything about anymore.

"What are you even talking about, Kadence? Anni wasn't sleeping with Ander." I say making her shrug like she is just the messenger, and I am an asshole for trying to shoot her.

"If that is what you want to believe," Kadence says like she is not going to try to convince me otherwise, but I know it is a trick. Kadence can't leave things like that alone. "Butttt that is not what I heard." There it is. "I heard that Anni was sleeping and dating someone that she didn't want you to know about, and I am guessing it is the one person who you have always loved."

I cross my arms over my chest. "Okay, so let's just say that I believe you or that I am even entertaining this idea — why do you think that it was Ander, and why do you think that this rumor is true?" I ask making her chuff at me.

"Would I tell a rumor if it wasn't true?" Yes. "I only heard that at every party that she would end up in a room with the door locked and would exit alone in the morning and his Tesla would be gone." Kadence smirks.

"Everyone's cars were probably gone, Kadence. That means nothing." I say annoyed because I am not entertaining this shit.

I know Ander and I know my sister, and I know that there was no way they were sleeping with each other. It just doesn't make sense...right?

"I don't know, Ada, but if I were you, I would at least think about it." Kadence pauses. "Just think, Ada. Ander suddenly stopped being your friend, and then suddenly after Anni died, he is obsessed with you." Kadence shrugs, standing. "I don't know about you, but I call that replacement and substitution."

I know that I shouldn't believe her. I should just shrug her off because Kadence only brews drama and misery, but what if I think she might be right? What if she is telling me is true?

Ander and Anni were together every weekend.

Ander started to talk to me when Anni died.

Ander is always saying how much he and Anni talked about me.

Maybe Kadence is right. Maybe Kadence is right about something for the first time in her entire life.

I don't want to believe her, but what she said seems to put me in this weird haze. It is like I am drunk or high and I have absolutely no idea where I am going or what is even going on.

I want to find Ander and I want to demand the truth — what do I even start with? I want to believe Kadence — why should I? I want to ask Anni — I can't.

It is like my head and heart don't know where to go, but my body does because suddenly I am staring into those perfect steel eyes and my time has officially run out.

"Ade? Where have you been all day? I didn't even see you at lunch." Ander's voice is so full of concern that I swear my heart breaks a little.

My heart breaks because I know that I either ask now or I never bring it up again.

I look into his eyes because I know I will see the truth. "Were you and Anni sleeping together?" I blurt out in a whisper making his face drop and his eyes open wide. "Like as in having sex?" His silence starts to cause my heart to race. "It is a simple question, Ander. It does not do well with silence as its answer." I say with a shake in my voice.

Ander stares at me for a few seconds, and I know him well enough to know when he is battling himself in his own head.

I watch him battle whether to tell me whatever he wants to tell me, and when he remains silent it is like a cannon ball right to the chest. It is like I suddenly know and realize the truth.

"Please," I whimper looking deep into his silvery pools. "I need the truth. Just tell me the truth, Ander. Please." I beg again, sounding so completely desperate.

That is because I am desperate.

I don't want to seem so desperate, but I need to know. I need to know because I don't think I can survive another heartbreak, especially one by him.

"Ade," Ander begins and then stops. I can see how badly he wants to speak but how easily he is choosing not to.

"Please, Ander. Just —" I pause, unsure of what to say back. "Please tell me what happened." I pause again to look down. "Was I just so you could remember her?" I look up. "Was I just a replacement so you could feel close to her again? What was I?" I demand drawing attention of some of the people around us.

"You were not a replacement, Ada. You are everything that I have ever wanted and more. I just can't tell you the truth. I wish I could tell you why, but I can't." Ander says making me shake with anger.

"You can't tell me the truth?" I bellow now fully having the attention of everyone around us. "Then I can't be with you." I choke. "I can't be with someone who can't just tell me one simple truth."

Ander grabs my arm as I turn away. "Please, Ada. Don't." Ander pleads with his baby eyes that make my heart shatter even more.

"Then tell me, Ander. Just tell me." I say sounding like s broken record.

"I can't." He whispers, looking down at the white tiled floors.

I nod, yanking my arm away. "Can't or won't?" I ask making him look back up at me. "It doesn't matter either way. Your silence answers my question perfectly." I snap before walking away from him.

Before walking away from the one person I don't want to live without.

The one person I love so much that it is ridiculously cheesy and deep.

The one person I never thought would lie to me but ends up being the one who was lying to me the most.