The One Who Lived

Chapter Twenty-Four

It has been an entire 356 days without her.

Three hundred and sixty-five days without Channing Gabriella Pearson.

The girl who broke me, shaped me, saved me, and loved me.

The girl who was my best friend, sister, accomplice, and completing piece.

In the entire 365 days since her death, I have learned more about myself and my own strength than I ever would have without her loss.

I have learned that when I think of or miss Anni, it doesn't have to hurt as bad as it did. I have learned to smile and remember her in the way she was than to miss her and hate the fact that she isn't here.

Yeah, sometimes it is way easier said than done, but it is honestly better to miss her and love her than miss her and hate her.

Ander twirling a strand of my hair in his hand brings me back to reality. "What are you thinking about?" He asks as we lay in the freshly shaven grass of his front yard with the books for our last year of school in front of us.

I lift my head from his stomach so I can roll over to mine. "Anni." I answer honestly because her name doesn't hurt as bad anymore. "What are you thinking about?" I quiz him back with a smile.

Ander looks back a little more serious making me kind of nervous. "I was wondering about the day that you fell in love with me." Ander answers, making me raise an eyebrow.

"What?" I ask suddenly unable to focus on my homework.

"Like, when did you know you loved me?" Ander asks casually while looking at the sky quizzically. "I think I told you, but you have never told me." He pauses to look at me now. "So, when did you know you loved me?"

I put my pencil down and can't help but smile at the memory. "The day that you poked me in the back with your pen and promised to make sure that I made it out okay." I giggle like a schoolgirl.

"God, I can't wait to have children with you." Ander pauses as my eyes widen. "I think about them every day." Ander says so genuinely that it shocks me.

"What?" I laugh.

Ander lifts another strand of my recently shortened hair. "Our daughters especially." The little girls I hope have his dark hair and perfect eyes? "God, our daughters are going to be so beautiful because of you." Ander says making me blush like an idiot.

Before Ander I never thought of children.

My mom would actually cry because of me saying I didn't want children. I have genuinely never felt the attachment to children in the way that Anni, Camille and even Kadence talked about.

I didn't want to be a mom ever.

Then I met Ander, and like a lot of other things, it just clicked. It was like I could suddenly see a future with the white picket fence and two boys and a girl running around the green yard with Ander standing right beside me.

I can see it all with him.

"You are so random." I laugh and shove him because of how random his comment is.

Ander has always been so tough and aggressive when it comes to other people, but never to me. He has hardly ever raised his voice at me, and he says these comments that are made to woo. (and they totally do)

"Because of you and your strength, our daughters will be born with fire in their souls." Ander says making me smile. "Fire in their souls and stars in their eyes. They are going to put this black hole of a world to shame." Ander says making me turn an even deeper red than I already was.

I laugh, getting up with Ander following my lead. "We have like ten years, Ander." I promise before he grabs me and pulls me into his chest.

"I don't have any idea where I am going to be in ten years, Adan, but I hope that I am next to you. I pray to God that I am standing next to you." Ander says making my eyes water.

"How about a bet?" I ask as I look at the house with the red door. "Whoever gets to the door first gets to name our first child." I say making him puff his chest like this isn't even a real competition.

"Ready?" Ander asks making me grin. "Set." I take off because I know that the only way I will win is if I cheat. "Go!" He yells in frustration behind me, but it isn't more than a few seconds before he is ahead of me.

I growl as Ander gets to the door while I am only halfway to it. "Not fair!" I complain, reaching the door before he picks me up and spins me around.

"Guess, I get to name our first kid." Ander says making me huff because that was never going to happen, but little did, I know.

Little did I know...