The One Who Lived

Chapter Twenty - Vanderbilt's POV

"Congrats, Vanderbilt. I am so proud of you." My dad beams before leaving my room with a click of the door.

I stare after him as his words hit me once he is finally gone – I got in. I got my dream scholarship, at my dream school, to play my dream sport.

So, why am I not happy? Why am I so fucking full of fear that I can't seem to move my body?

I let out a growl as I throw my middle school football trophy across my bedroom.

As soon as it makes contact with the wall – it shatters – as does every other trophy that I have won does just a few minutes later. I am tired of looking at them. I am tired of having to be face to face with the thing that used to be my world, but is now the thing I fear the most.

"FUCK!" I yell as I grab one of my bedside table lamps and throw it because I am out of trophies but still so goddamn angry.

I finally have everything I could ever want within my reach, and it seems to be getting further and further away because my body isn't the same anymore. I don't have the same body, brain, or future that I did before that stupid accident in the gym.

I can't go to the gym right now – because black dots start to fill my vision and the room starts to swirl.

I can't work out right now – because whether it is the school gym, town gym, or my home gym, I hear Dallas calling for me and feel my inability to answer because I knew I was dying.

I can't throw a football right now – because I feel my grip on the football like it was on the bar, and then I suddenly feel is slipping and my ability to breathe slipping with it.

I can't play my favorite game at my dream school because I was fucking cocky, and I have no one to blame but myself.

I don't even have Ada anymore...

I shake my head to clear that last thought. "Rough." I snarl into the phone as the line picks up.

"Grey." He mimics back with a laugh that makes me want to punch him, but I need him right now. I need his parties, boos, and easy girls.

"Plans?" I question, grabbing my keys and heading out.

"You don't even have to ask." He says and then ends the phone call.

I mutter a few curses at him as I get into my car and make my way to the Rough home. I can see that the party is already in full swing as I pull up by my ability to hear the music for down the road, the cars covering the entirety of the lawn, and the cars that already have foggy windows.

I pass through the crowds of people as I make my way to the kitchen to find any type of bottle that is open and free to be drank. The first bottle that I find is Tito's and I don't bother to hesitate or ask who it belongs to before I start drinking straight out of the bottle.

"That is some serious male privilege right there." Camille's voice comes from my right.

I turn towards her with an eyebrow raised. "What the hell are you talking about, Church?" I question taking another large swig from the bottle.

She laughs and takes a few steps forward so that she is next to me. "First off, don't call me by my last name like I am one of your football buddies." She takes a drink from her red solo cup. "And I was talking about being able to just grab a bottle, drink from it, and not be worried that it is spiked or something."

I shrug. "Never really thought about it." I pause. "And they're not really buddies – more like teammates."

Camille waves her hand at me. "Whatever, you knew what I meant." She lifts herself on the counter so she can sit and talk to me. "So, what is up with you and Ada?"

I try to play off the flinch that I almost let slip at the mention of her name. "Nothing. We are just taking some time." I lie and take several more gulps to try to substitute the internal Ada pain for a more physical type of pain.

"Oh really?" She asks like she does not believe me in the slightest.

I nod my head. "Really. Kadence told her that I was with Anni, and she believed her. I couldn't say anything because of Hawkins, so Ada broke up with me over it. Then I guess that Hawkins told her it was him and not me, but that didn't seem to solve anything." I pause and grunt. "So, I guess that our ending is more of a for sure thing than a break." I take another large swig.

Hawkins came to me a few days ago to tell me that he had talked to Ada and told her about his relationship with Anni. He told me how she reacted, and it was the same way that I thought she would – I just assumed that she would come back to me.

That was the twist in the expectations that I had – Ada didn't come running.

The worst fucking part is that it isn't like she hasn't had the chance to talk to me.

We have seen each other in the school hallways, school parking lot, at different restaurants, and honestly anywhere that fate can put us.

She has quite literally had multiple chances to talk to me – she has just chosen not to.

"I'm sorry, Ander. I shouldn't have brough it up." Camille whispers about to get off the counter, but I put my hand on her arm to stop her.

"No, it's fine." I pause, swallowing my pride. "Has she asked about me?" I ask like a middle school girl and not a high school guy.

Camille smiles at me, but it is more of a sad smile than a nice one. "Yeah, she has. She is worried about you."

I snort. "That's funny." I finish off the bottle and reach for a new one.

"Why's that funny? She isn't the only one worried about you." Camille crosses her arms over her chest.

I ignore her last comment. "It's funny because she doesn't talk to me – ever. The only time she does is to ask me if I am okay." I take a swig from the almost empty tequila bottle. "Why does she always ask if I am okay?"

"She asks because she knows what it is like to not be okay and have everyone stop asking because they are okay. She knows the reality that around the time that people stop asking if you are okay that is when you need it asked the most." Camille answers, casually.

"Whatever." I grumble and walk away from Camille before she can say anything else that might push me off the goddamn edge.

I want to yell at Camille and demand to know who told her she had the right to even talk to me – especially about Ada. I want to tell her to go worry about her own bullshit with her own cheating boyfriend, and keep her opinions away from me and my girlfriend.

The problem is that Ada isn't mine anymore. It is starting to get clearer and clearer that Ada and I are forever done, and I refuse to accept it.

I refuse to accept a world in which Adan Pearson isn't going to eventually become Adan Grey.