For the first time in months, Olivia wasn't sore when she woke up after a night of intimacy. She felt good, she felt well rested despite how little sleep she'd actually gotten, and she felt happy. She carefully rolled over to see Joshua still asleep next to her, his arm fixated around her waist underneath his large t-shirt that she had put on before they had finally gone to sleep. She smiled, running her fingers gently through his curly hair and brushed her thumb over his cheekbone. After observing Joshua in his sleep for a few more minutes, Olivia finally made her attempt to get out of bed, wriggling out of his grasp, careful not to wake him up. She tip-toed her way through the small trailer and into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash up. Stepping in front of the mirror, she noticed several small love bites scattering her neck, covering the bruises that were put there by Adam. She ran her fingers gently along the marks on her neck and tugged at the collar of Joshua's shirt, revealing even more purple marks trailing on her chest and near her collar bone, and she smiled knowing that they were from Joshua. As she continued examining the marks left on her skin from the previous night, Joshua's reflection appeared in the mirror behind her, and he walked forward to wrap his arms around her waist from behind.
"Good morning," he murmured, burying his face into her neck and pressing a kiss to the soft skin. "Why are you up so early? It's still dark outside."
"I just woke up, I wanted to let you sleep." Olivia stayed facing forward but reached up behind her to run her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, her hand rubbing the back of his neck. He smiled teasingly when he looked at her in the mirror and saw the small purple love bites he had left on her neck, but his smile faded away when he noticed the greenish yellow finger marks that were still noticeable on her neck. Fucking Adam.
"What's wrong?" Olivia turned around to face him when she noticed his smile fall.
"Your neck," he said, reaching up to gently run his fingers over the older bruises on the side of her neck.
"You've got a couple of them too," she giggled, pointing out the two deep purple marks on the side of his neck just below his ear that were left there by her.
"No, not those. Your old bruises are still here," he explained and watched her smile disappear.
"Can we not talk about that right now?" She sighed. "I'm in a happy little bubble with you right now and I want it to stay that way." Joshua laughed and placed his hand under her chin, tilting her face up towards his so he could kiss her fully on the lips.
"You know you should probably go soon," she whispered against his lips after a few seconds and he pulled back, a scowl taking over his face and she let out a small laugh. "I don't want you to, but everyone else is going to wake up soon and they won't shut up if they see you leaving my trailer. Plus, if you shower here you're gonna smell like a girl the rest of the day."
"What's wrong with smelling like a girl?" Joshua asked, reaching down to peck her lips once more. Olivia laughed again, remembering she was talking to the man who openly confessed to crushing on Harry Styles and willingly wore tiaras in photo shoots.
"You go shower first," Joshua said, his hands caressing her waist gently. "I don't care who sees me leave." Olivia smiled and placed her hand behind his neck, pulling him down for one more kiss before he slipped out of the bathroom. He made his way into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee before taking a seat at the tiny table pushed up in the corner of the small kitchen area.
Olivia showered quickly, not wanting to use up all the hot water. She towel dried her hair and slipped Joshua's t-shirt back over her head before rejoining Joshua in the kitchen. She thanked him for the coffee and stood behind where he was sat, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She leaned down to kiss him, and he reciprocated at first, Olivia frowning when he pulled back too soon for her liking.
"Liv, can we talk?" He asked, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her to sit down across from him. She nodded cautiously, gesturing for him to continue.
"What I said last night," he began. "When I told you I loved you, I meant that."
"I know you did," Olivia said quietly.
"And I don't regret anything about last night," he continued. "But, I don't think I can do this," he gestured between the two of them, "while you're still with Adam."
Olivia sighed, exhaling a breath that she didn't know she was holding. Her initial thoughts were that Joshua was going to tell her he didn't mean what he'd said the night before and that it was all a mistake.
"I'm going to break up with him," Olivia whispered. Joshua's expression softened as he watched a tear roll down her cheek and he reached up to wipe it away, Olivia leaning into his touch. Obviously Olivia wanted to leave Adam, but he had such a tight hold on her, and it wasn't going to be easy. "I just need a little time. I've tried to leave before but it's not that easy. I need some time."
Joshua nodded silently, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her lips before heading into the bathroom for a quick shower himself, leaving Olivia to her thoughts. Her head was spinning, she'd just cheated on her boyfriend. But he deserved it, she told herself over and over again. He did it first. She started going over their entire relationship in her head, all the way back to the first time they'd been alone together. Adam had begun pursuing her before she'd even turned eighteen, and the moment she began putting other things in her life before him, he turned dark. From forcing her to binge drink with him and his friends, getting angry when she performed songs that might have been about Joshua, all the way to when the physical abuse began. It was over, it had to be. If the manipulation and abuse wasn't enough, Olivia didn't love him anymore. A few tears escaped from Olivia's eyes and she rested her chin in her hand, devastated at the long-awaited realization that her six month long relationship with Adam had been nothing but toxic, manipulative, and abusive. He had turned her into a different person, and it wouldn't be easy for her to heal.
"Liv?" Joshua called to her as he stepped out of the bathroom. He'd slipped his green plaid pajama pants back on, since he hadn't planned on spending the night and didn't have a change of clothes. He stepped into the kitchen and found Olivia in the same spot he'd left her in. She didn't budge at the sound of his voice. He walked over to her and pulled her hands away from her face, immediately wrapping his arms around her small frame when he realized she was crying.
"You could've at least put a shirt on," she laughed into his chest through her tears, her arms wrapping tightly around his torso.
"You're wearing my shirt," he mumbled, stroking her back gently. "What's wrong?"
"He ruined me," she whispered into his chest, keeping a tight grip on him. "He destroyed my life."
"I know," Joshua whispered into her hair, hugging her tighter, not knowing any better way to comfort her.
"I let him do it," she choked out between sobs. Joshua could feel her tears soaking his bare skin, but he didn't flinch.
"It's not your fault, Olivia," he assured her, continuing rubbing her back as she cried into him. "It's okay. I got you."
"I'm gonna end it," Olivia finally pulled back from their hug, looking up and locking eyes with him. "I need to be done with him." Joshua smiled softly at her, his hand stroking the side of her hair down to her neck. He'd been waiting for her to come to this realization for months.
"I don't think I even told you this last night, but I love you too," she whispered, eyes glistening. Joshua smiled again and leaned down, gently pressing his lips to hers.
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a/n: i didn't know joshua was a capricorn
YOU ARE READING
I Have a Bachelor's Degree in Robbing the Cradle
Hayran Kurgu"Why do you let him do this to you?" "You don't even know him, Josh." "Maybe not. But I do know you, and this isn't you."
