Tears of a dragon

10. TO KILL

The bear stood up on its hind legs and swung its arms towards me. It missed, ever so slightly. I couldn't hold onto the chains for much longer, my stamina was draining and the bear would soon reach me. My front legs let go of the chains and my claws reached for the bear, slashing his arm with all my might. But I barely made a scratch. The coat was too thick. My hind legs still held a tight grip around the chains, so for the moment I was hanging upside down. The bear had become infuriated and let out a deep roar. It's teeth were sharp and huge, and I could smell it's stinking breath from where I stood. It was absolutely terrifying and I realised that if I didn't act now, I was done for. As I was positioned exactly above the beast, I let go of the chains and fell onto the polar bear's back. My teeth and claws dug deep into his coat, securing my grip. My tail tightened around his waist. The bear went mad. Roaring, dashing and fighting in desperation to throw me off. It was too late for him. I did the same with my hind legs, so that my every claw dug into him. He kicked and jumped and almost succeeded to throw me off. But my wings and tail now held a strong grip, and my mouth was ready to finish him with a bite. I wanted to make it quick and painless, aiming for the neck. My jaws opened to make the last strike when he suddenly calmed down. His sprint became a trot, which became a walk and eventually he slowed down until he stood completely still. I realized my tail was holding such a strong grip on his stomach that it kept him from breathing. I quickly pulled my fangs against his neck and pressed as hard as I could. I wasn't going to stop until I couldn't feel him breathe. Hold on, just for a bit longer. His body began to shiver, his mouth wide open, gasping for air. But I held on tightly, squeezing like a snake. His legs began to shake before failing him, and his massive body fell heavily to the ground.

I held onto him, still being in a wild state of mind. Is he...dead? I released both claws and fangs from the body and pulled back my wings. My tail was stale, locked around him and stuck underneath his body. It took great effort to remove it, and when I did it felt numb as if I'd been sleeping on it all night. I took a moment to catch my breath.

My eyes went to the bear. Its jaws were open, teeth exposed and the tongue laid flat on the sand. The face was relaxed and the eyes lifeless. He was most certainly dead. I had gotten very, very lucky. If the bear had chosen to roll over on his back he would have crushed me.

I ignored the human cheering and applause. I was too caught up with the tragic sight in front of me.

By the stars. What have I done? ... this isn't me, it couldn't have been done by me? I am not a murderer, am I?

I watched the poor creature which had been alive just seconds ago. Even though it had been in self defence, I felt absolutely sickened.

I am a murderer.

I felt a guilt in my gut. If this was going to continue, I wanted to be the dead one. I couldn't bear to live a life void of anything but violence. Another gate opened and four armoured humans came to lead me back to my cell. I made no efforts to resist. I entered, and the gate rolled down. It was dark, empty, and I was completely alone. Patches of dry wheat straw laid scattered on the floor, and I laid down on it, completely exhausted. Even though it was night, the light from the torches and the moon had found its way in through small cracks and holes. The gate was old and damaged, so I had made a hobby out of scratching it. The scratching in turn led to slightly larger holes which I could peek through with one eye. The majority of the holes were made by scratching the wooden sides, especially the gap between the floor and the gate's bottom. I laid my head against the floor and squinted my eyes, trying to peek out between the biggest gap. Sometimes guards would pass by and bang on the doors. Sometimes they would feed us. And sometimes all kinds of animals and dragons would switch to new cages, and I got to witness creatures which I'd never seen before. But most of all, I watched the battles. I analysed, and became engaged in the action. The battles were cruel, and it astounded me how little resemblance it had to hunting. Hunting was all about making a quick kill, the arena was all about making a spectacle. The toughest fights to watch were dragon versus dragon. Thinking, sentient beings being reduced to feral beasts. I would feel so helpless, and often look away. But being exposed to so much violence so frequently made me a little number, which was needed if I was going to survive.

But today I was watching something much more lighthearted. A guard struggled to guide his horse to the correct cage. It was very amusing. But I couldn't help myself from wanting to hunt down and eat the human. I was starving, and the food I'd received consisted mostly of bones, skin and rotten meat.

Suddenly, a shadow passed by. I flinched. An animal? My claws instantly reached between the gap and pinched the little thing. I pulled it, dragging the animal inside my cage by its leg.

That's an odd looking rat.

My stomach made a rumbling noise, it was time to eat. The pure sight of this animal had triggered my hunger. I took hold of it, held it upside down by the leg and opened my jaws.

But as I held it above my head, something unforgettable happened. He screamed- with words.