Battle of Bones (Anomaly Saga #5)

6

Camellia drove. Chaps sat in the passenger seat, since he had called shotgun and Preston had insisted on respecting the call. Preston sat in the back.

The car flew down the suburban roads at extremely high speeds.

"This is not legal!" Chaps exclaimed, sounding amused.

"Neither is kidnapping," said Camellia. "Although, I'm not sure if this even counts."

"Say, anime lady," said Chaps, "where are we going, anyhow?"

"My name is Camellia," said Camellia with an exasperated sigh. "We're on our way to trade you for something equally valuable."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"Some talking scarecrow head," said Preston from the back.

Chaps nodded. "Bramble. I should have expected as much. When's the trade?"

Camellia kept her eyes fixed on the road. "Right after we arrive in about ten minutes."

Chaps nodded and was silent for a moment before speaking up again. "So, who wants to play the alphabet game?"

"Preston," said Camellia through gritted teeth, "shut him up."

"I've got 'route' for R!" said Chaps with a laugh. "Before you all have the chance to get it."

Preston rooted through a bag on the backseat. "Shut him up with what?"

"I don't know," said Camellia. "Find a gag or duct tape or something."

"'Exit' for E!" said Chaps. "I'm winning."

Preston found a wad of socks in the bag and, reaching from behind, pulled open Chaps' jaw and stuck it inside. Chaps simply opened his jaw further and let it fall out. "'Bus' for B!" he said.

"Okay, not a gag," Camellia said.

Preston kept looking through the bag. He came across a roll of duct tape. It had a mustache pattern on it. Preston ripped off a piece with his teeth and stuck it over Chaps' mouth. Or, rather, his teeth bones. Chaps wiggled his jaw a bit, loosening the duct tape, and eventually worked it off and into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed it. Preston wondered how this was possible for a skeleton with no intestines.

"Oh, for Pete's sake . . ." Camellia pushed down harder on the pedal, ready to get the road trip over with.

"We're gaining speed now!" Chaps exclaimed, sticking his head out the open window. He held onto his top hat so it wouldn't blow away. "Woohoo!" He pulled his head back in and started humming Mario Kart music.

At long last, Camellia pulled into a deserted alleyway. She stepped out of the car. It seemed her dealer had yet to show. "Preston, watch the skeleton while I keep watch out here."

Preston got out of the car. He had ripped out a mustache from the duct tape and stuck it above his lip. "You've got it." He stood beside the front passenger seat, staring intently at Chaps.

"Look at that!" Chaps pointed from his drawn-on mustache to Preston's duct tape mustache. "We're twins!"

"Ha-ha, yeah!" Preston held up his hand for a high-five, but pulled it back as soon as it came in contact with Chaps' hand-bones. "Ew. That felt weird."

"Preston, focus," said Camellia.

"Right. Focusing."

And then, another car pulled into the alleyway.

"Finally," murmured Camellia. "They're here."