Battle of Bones (Anomaly Saga #5)

17

"We're here!" said Chaps. "Now to figure out how to land this thing . . ."

"You don't know how to land?" Camellia said.

"Oh, it can't be that difficult; can it? Just a few buttons, and . . ." Chaps pushed a few buttons, and the S.S. Chaps plummeted downward. "Oops, not that one!" He pushed another, and the ship stopped abruptly, causing its passengers to jump a little in their seats.

Joe stood and looked out of one of the windows. "All clear, Chaps."

"Brilliant!" Chaps pushed a button again. The ship fell about an inch or two and hit solid ground. Well, "solid" in a sense - the ship seemed to slightly sway back and forth.

Camellia pretended not to notice the dents her fingernails had made in the arm of her seat. She stood and joined Chaps by the door of the rocket. Preston stumbled to her side. "Whew!" he said. "Let's do that again!"

"Let's not and say we did!" said Camellia with a sigh.

"It was quite a rush," said Chaps. "Like a rollercoaster. My stomach would've dropped, if I had one."

"We will have to do it on the way back," said Joe. "Now, we must find the Princess."

Chaps led the way out of the ship. The four stepped out onto a squishy, cushiony ground. In front of them was a large sign that displayed some kind of foreign scribbles. Underneath it were the words: "WELCOME TO KITTENS".

"Oh, it's . . . literally called 'Kittens'," Camellia said.

"Is there a place called 'Puppies'?" Preston asked.

"Yes," said Chaps, "but it is unfortunately a few dimensions away from this one. Perhaps we can visit it another day."

"Nice."

The group trudged through the squishy grounds with slight difficulty. Just past the sign, they reached land that was a bit more solid and felt like shag carpet. The Kingdom of Kittens was comprised of multiple very large cat trees, which presumably acted as houses or other buildings. A few cats roamed around the outside. One was riding a Roomba.

"This actually kind of rocks," Camellia said.

"Cats are all right," Preston said. "They don't really like me." One cat hissed at him as he walked by. "See?"

"Cats and I agree on that, then," Camellia said. A white cat approached Camellia and began winding around her legs. "Hi there, sweetie." She crouched down to pat the cat. The cat purred. "So are these cats, like . . . supernatural or whatever?"

"I think the term would be super-cat-ural."

"I'm not asking you."

"The cats of Kittens are perfectly normal," said Joe. "Aside from the fact that they are practically immortal and gain the ability to morph into a human form once they turn two thousand and thirty-six."

"Two thousand and thirty-seven," Chaps corrected.

"Ah, yes, forgive me."

"Weird." Camellia looked down at the white cat. "How old are you?" The cat rubbed its head on her knee. She chuckled and lifted the cat into her arms as they kept moving.

They came to a giant castle, which was also a cat tree. Chaps rang the doorbell, and there was a faint noise that sounded vaguely like the Meow Mix theme song. The doors swung open a moment later. Behind them was a woman who looked almost human, with the exception of her abnormally large eyes.

"Chaps, Joe!" the Princess of Kittens exclaimed. "It's so good to see you again!" She hugged Joe and then Chaps, who mimed banging his head against a wall. The Princess turned to Camellia and Preston. "Hi! Are you friends of Chaps' and Joe's?"

"Call us associates." Camellia offered the Princess a hand to shake. "I'm Camellia, and this is Preston."

The Princess ignored Camellia's hand and drew her in for a hug. "It's so wonderful to meet you!" She hugged a slightly flustered Preston, too. "I'm Princess Catricia." She nodded toward the cat Camellia held. "I see you've taken a liking to Cathaniel."

Camellia smiled at Cathaniel, scratching his ears. "More like he took a liking to me. Does everyone's name here start with 'cat'?"

"Whoa, there, Camellia, getting a little bit racist, aren't we?" Chaps said.

Camellia's eyes widened. "What? No, I didn't mean-"

Princess Catricia waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, ignore him! He's just being silly. Now, what brings you to Kittens?"

"Official Guardian business," said Chaps. He glanced around. "Let's just say an old friend of mine has returned. That is a bad thing, by the way. Because he isn't my friend. The opposite, really. We have more of the details back at HQ, along with the rest of the team we've assembled."

"We will be returning there shortly, if you'd join us," Joe said.

"Absolutely!" said Catricia. "Allow me one moment, please." She turned around and went back into her castle. She returned just a few minutes later. "Thank you for waiting. I had to alert my Mayor of the Palace that I would be leaving for a bit. I also grabbed this." She revealed a gnarly machine gun, a stark contrast to her soft, feminine appearance.

Chaps nodded. "We could probably find use for that. Off we go, then!"

"Wonderful!" Catricia jauntily skipped along. She stopped by Camellia. "You can bring Cathaniel along, if you'd like! He always has been a rather adventurous kitty."

Camellia shrugged and carried Cathaniel back to the S.S. Chaps with her. Once there, Chaps and Joe got on first, and Preston stepped out of the way to let Catricia through, bowing dramatically. "Ladies first."

"Why, thank you!" said Catricia. "Such a gentleman." She lifted the bottom of her skirt slightly to ascend the steps. Camellia scoffed as Preston went on after Catricia, leaving her to be the last on the ship.

They all took their seats, and Camellia turned to Catricia. "So you yourself have a cat form?" she asked.

"Yes. Naturally, I look like a cat," Catricia said. "Like Cathaniel and all other kittizens of Kittens. I have to use my human form to communicate with other humans, though. I can only speak Meowlish when I'm in my cat form."

"Do you hang around in your human form often?"

"No. Typically, I remain in my natural form. I answered the door in this form, though, because I figured I would be answering it to humans. You rang the doorbell - cats don't do that. They usually just meow very loudly at the door until either someone opens it or they give up."

"Ah. Sounds about right."

"Can we see your cat form?" Preston asked.

Catricia smiled. "Sure!" Her body seemed to melt away as she morphed from her human body into that of a pink hairless cat.

"We are about to lift off!" Chaps announced. "All passengers should be in human form until we are in the air. For safety reasons."

Catricia returned to her human form. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah . . . hairless cats are . . . great . . . ," Preston said unenthusiastically.

"And we're off in three . . . ," Chaps said, "two . . . one . . ." They took off. "Wahoo!"