Battle of Bones (Anomaly Saga #5)

7

Chaps stopped humming and peered through the driver's side window. "Oh, brilliant!" he exclaimed. "Company! Let me find some fitting tunes here . . ." he turned on the car radio and started shifting through the different stations.

The other car came to a full stop, and the driver's side door opened to reveal Thorn, brushing imaginary dust off of his sprayed-on tuxedo and his Monopoly money tie. He carried the same box he'd had earlier under his arm.

Following Thorn were two large and looming scarecrows, each one at least seven feet tall. They both wore T-shirts that read "If lost, return to Thorn."

"Wow!" shouted Chaps as he flicked through the radio stations. "Those are some tall scarecrows! I have a shirt similar to theirs, actually, but mine says 'Hermione Has Forgotten How To Dance.' I found it in a junkyard once and I don't know what it means, but the shirt is still very stylish."

Thorn nodded slowly. "I see you have the skeleton."

Camellia stepped to the side. "Please take him with you. But give us Bramble first."

Thorn shook his head. "Give us the skeleton first."

"Wait!" interjected Preston. "How about we compromise? You give us Bramble at the same time as we give you Chaps."

Thorn scoffed. "Fine." He extracted a key from behind his tie and used it to unlock the box. Bramble's head stared up at him from inside.

"I was getting tired of the view in there," said Bramble with a humorless chuckle.

"Shut it," said Thorn. "Scare and Crow, go grab the skeleton."

Camellia glanced behind her shoulder. "Get out of the car, Chaps."

"Wait!" the skeleton held up one boney finger. "I'm almost done finding the perfect song!"

Camellia sighed. "Just grab him, then."

The two massive bodyguards, Scare and Crow, shoved their way past Preston.

"Hey!" said Preston, rubbing his arm. "Be careful with Chaps, okay? He's a cool guy. A decent dude."

One of the bodyguards grabbed Chaps' arm. The skeleton didn't seem to care.

"Well look at this!" Chaps exclaimed. "I've done it! I've found the perfect song for the moment where we double-cross these scarecrows and run away!"

Camellia's heart skipped a beat. "What?!"

"Traitor!" shouted Thorn, charging forward.

Camellia leapt out of the way. "No, wait! This wasn't the plan!"

Chaps laughed. "It is now!" He turned up the volume, and Kenny Loggins' 'Footloose' blasted through the car's speakers as Chaps mimed punching one of the massive bodyguards in the face, succeeding in mildly confusing him.

Preston grinned. "Now this is what I'm talking about!" He kicked one of the bodyguards in the legs, sending him sprawling on the ground.

Camellia sighed and took out her gun, shooting Thorn in the arm.

Thorn gasped and dropped the box, and Bramble's head rolled underneath Camellia's car.

Preston dove underneath and grabbed the scarecrow head as Chaps fought off the other bodyguard with stage punches, taking extra care to time them with the music.

"Start a fight and don't even participate in it," Camellia scoffed under her breath, shaking her head at Chaps.

Thorn growled and reached behind his tie again, this time pulling out a Monopoly money knife.

"Don't bring a knife to a gunfight," said Camellia, and she shot him in the chest.

"Agh!" Thorn exclaimed. "Scare! Crow! One of you stop them! The other one should call for reinforcements!"

Preston threw Bramble's head into the car, and Chaps caught it.

"Disgusting," said Bramble. "Bones."

Chaps shook his head. "Stop being prejudiced! Anyway, off we pop! Camellia, Preston, get in!" He climbed over into the driver's seat.

Preston kicked one of the bodyguards again to keep him from getting up, also taking care to time it with the music. Then, he somersaulted into the car. "Ouch," he said. "I probably should have just walked in."

Camellia holstered her gun, sighed, and got into the passenger seat. "Chaps, where are we going in my car?"

"To a place I know very well!" Chaps exclaimed, and they drove off, leaving Thorn's shouting in the dust and exhaust behind them.