COntRol

Bonus Chapter 2

⚡COntRol⚡
Bonus Chapter 2

[No one's POV]

They'd just finished practice, and Izuku could feel himself getting better. Both mentally and physically.

He was one of the top of his class, the rival being Shoto. It made him wonder if Endeavour had made him do labouring exercises like All Might had made him do. Did he have to clean another beach? Or did he maybe have his own gym, to which his father coached him? He'd have to ask him later.

What was unusual, and what he was sure both of them had noticed, was that Katsuki wasn't as competitive. In fact, several times Izuku had noticed Aizawa walk up to him and tell him to pick up the pace, mostly in a light-hearted manner - he probably figured that Katsuki wasn't well that day. But even for a basic, not-intense workout, Katsuki was still lagging.

Izuku was currently helping put two of the benches away, Ochako happily chirping about how she successfully managed to cheat the system. She assumed that no one had noticed her use her quirk, and she was out of Aizawa's line of sight, which made her press-ups and sit-ups ten times easier.

His response in return was short, but only because his eyes were following Katsuki, who he'd noticed was looking at Eijiro. Of course he still wasn't over him. Of course he still wasn't ready to let go, even through the nights of tears and Izuku reluctantly being forced to be by his side.

He knows it's unhealthy. Being hugged and pushed into his bed and giving kisses and comfort and everything that wasn't his place to give, but he couldn't help it! He loves Katsuki! And if he is to be thrown into a delusion of his fantasies of Katsuki loving him and not Eijiro being real, he wouldn't mind waking up every morning feeling so deprived of happiness.

Sometimes, he even tries to imagine it. His name being whispered off Katsuki's lips instead of Eijiro's when his shoulder is being cried on. The kisses actually meaning something to Katsuki instead of just being for comfort to his aching heart. At times, his imagination went so far to think that Katsuki would return the kisses, but they never came.

He sees Katsuki sigh and tear his gaze from Eijiro, filled with longing and loss. Maybe hatred as well. But he leaves to enter the changing room.

Izuku sets down the benches, ready to head after Katsuki, but freezes when he sees Eijiro go in after him

He shouldn't go in. Not now. Not when the two were there, maybe talking things out between them. But he wanted to go. To see if Eijiro and Katsuki would finally get back together. Where Eijiro would finally take his place in Katsuki's heart and life, and Izuku would be freed from the suffering, only left with his own longing for Katsuki.

That would fade away with the knowledge of knowing Katsuki was no longer his.

So he follows them in, hiding behind the wall when he could hear tearful voices, trying to steady his breathing so he could hear what was being said.

"I-I'M TRYING TO GET OVER YOU, KIRISHIMA! I'M TRYING SO F... FUCKING HARD! BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS FUCKING THERE! Y-you're a-ALWAYS-"

Izuku jumps at the sound of Katsuki's emotional aggression, one that he was so used to hearing.

"YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME AND TRYING TO TALK TO ME AND-"

"I LOVE YOU, KATSUKI!"

Hearing that being so easily said make a twinge of jealousy hit him. But what else prickled in his own chest was what Eijiro had said - he loves Katsuki. 

And Katsuki loves him too.

And he should be happy, but all he could think of was never being able to see Katsuki again, and seeing more of their hand-holding and kissing and hugging and all things that made him close to crying. He wanted to be in that position, as selfish as it was.