COntRol

32

⚡COntRol⚡
Chapter 32

[No one's POV]

Things had quietened immensely since that day.

There was tension in each class, throughout the whole of class 2-A. They were scared, and fearful. That was the first violent public fight they'd had amongst the class, especially in the dorms. The first fight between two boys. Two lovers. Two broken hearts.

It was no shock to see one or both of them being absent in school. Aizawa did attempt to intrude, mainly to Bakugo, following the incident at Ground Beta incident as of last year, though each boy refused to say anything. He'd learnt more about what had happened between the two passively, or through other people, and as a teacher he was left with no choice but to wait for things to settle. He could at least have some comfort in seeing Midoriya taking care of Bakugo, and Kaminari taking down two sets of notes, the other presumably for Kirishima.

That same night, no sensors of any sort went off. Kaminari's momentary loss of control at such an extent wasn't known by anyone, besides himself and Kirishima. When it had been about two hours since the incident, Kirishima had found the energy to go to his dorm, completely empty and tired to think coherently, dragging himself towards the elevator. He falls onto his bed, peering across to the neatly-made bed, not a trace there to show that Kaminari had come back. He was too broken and hurt to care, eyes dropping shut as he swirls into a dreamless sleep, filled with pitch black.

Kaminari didn't go back to his room. He feared what would happen if he stayed with Kirishima that night; what would happen in his sleep if he dreams about the events that had unfolded. He goes to the basement, moving a few closets and stands out of the way and turning off the fluorescent lights off, using the lustre of the moon to find his way to the dusty couch. A small window hovers right over where his temporary, or permanent, place to sleep is.

Guilt was what kept him awake that night. The waves of pain made it too overwhelming for him to keep his eyes closed. He hurt him. He hurt him.

It was a long night, and it reminded him of how things were before he'd made the stupid decision of letting Kirishima in. When he would stare at the wall all day and pretend that he didn't exist. He should've said to Aizawa that he didn't want to dorm with Kirishima. Sure, he would probably ask for a reason, but he could've easily lied his way out of it. But, at least then, Kirishima wouldn't be in a position that threatens his relationship with Bakugo.

Kaminari is just being selfish.

He should've pretended to be fine. Convince Kirishima somehow that he was, even if he'd eventually found out and then take him to Aizawa. Then the teachers would deal with him and probably send him to a mental health hospital, and he would have to forfeit his dreams of being a hero, because why would UA want a useless brat with an uncontrollable quirk?! And he was probably the reason why there was such a significant gap between class 2-A and 2-B. His class had to lag behind or put the breaks on so he could catch up with them.

Again, his thoughts dive into darker depths, teasing him with the sweet relief of death. Of ending everything and not worry about being a burden to others. And feeling like such a failure all the damn fucking time, because the more he lived, the more he realises how reckless and futile he is, and how much of a hinderance he was to others.

He wants to be better, but he can't.

Days turn into weeks. Kirishima was making a gradual recovery, eventually growing to accept that his feelings were unrequited. Or maybe they weren't, but he was in no state to believe that Bakugo would be coming back for him.