ALLAGRUGOUS

Chapter Three- I Am Fine

I wake up to my alarm yelling at me to get out of bed. My first impulse is to throw it against the wall as soon as I take it off my bedside table. Turning it off, I lie back down and close my eyes, wishing I could just turn back time, so I didn't have to deal with this today. As I tumble out of bed and head to the bathroom. I just want to lay in bed for a few more minutes and forget about the world even if it was just for a second longer, I rubbed my sleep from my eyes, trying to wake up and get my day started.

I brush my teeth and throw my hair into a messy bun not caring if I look like a hot mess. I put on some deodorant not wanting to smell considering I forgot to take a shower last night. I start to look at myself in the mirror, ultimately, gaining a grasp on reality and my appearance. My eyes are red and puffy indicating that I was crying last night, my hair tangled, and my lips dry. Dark eye bags from below my eyes, making my lack of sleep very noticeable to the outside world.

 I grab my hygiene products before slowly making my way out of my bathroom. I throw the items in my bag and zip up my duffle bag. I grab my phone to check the time seeing that I still have time to go down to the breakfast hall to get something to drink, knowing damn well that I wouldn't let myself eat. It's not like I had an appetite after the events that happened the previous night.

I empty my drawers and start folding all my clothes up to be put back into my suitcase. The hotel we are staying at has a community washer and dryer, so thankfully all of my clothes are clean. I put my brother's gifts in my suitcase too knowing that the boys would be mad if I didn't bring them a souvenir. Grabbing my art portfolio I put it on top of all of my clothes so it wouldn't get wrinkled.

I check over the room one last time making sure that I don't leave any of my belongings behind. Once, I am sure that I have all of my stuff. My suitcase gets thrown on the bed, and I open it and grab my sweats. I don't even care enough to take off my shorts, instead I just pull them up over them, knowing it's going to be chili outside. I close my suitcase, pull the handle, and place it on the floor. I throw my duffel bag over my shoulder and my phone before I forget. I reach for the handle of my suitcase and approach the door.

I make it out the door, but not before closing the door with a force making a loud bang. I wince at the piercing sound. I head over to the elevator at the beginning of the never-ending corridor. I press the down button while simultaneously letting a huge yawn. The elevators open, but surprisingly no one is on so I walk in and hit the button for the first floor. I look up from my phone to see the boys heading this way. I snap my head down not wanting them to feel me staring at them. I hope that the boys won't notice my presence, but I hear one of the boys call out my name making me slowly glance up at them. They both look like a bus hit them. Both of their hair is disheveled, their eyes look more tired than ever, and the eye bags are prominent letting me know that neither of them got a wink of sleep last night. They swiftly walk toward me trying to reach the elevator before it closed, but neither of them is successful in getting here fast enough, thankfully.

I let out a breath of relief, not ready nor prepared to have a proper conversation after what occurred last night. I still can't believe that Theo would say something like that. My anger is slowly rising just thinking about the fight we had on the roof. I don't want to talk to either of them. I should have just kept my big fat mouth shut and none of this would have happened. I can't even make friends without my secret ruining all of it. Maybe I should just stop trying to make friends. Maybe being alone is worth it if it means I can no longer hurt those around me. My thoughts are cut off abruptly, by the ding of the elevator letting me know that I have reached my destination. My hand reaches out to grab hold of my luggage and step out of the elevator with a bored expression. 

I leave my belongings at the front desk to go get myself something to drink. The soreness of my throat makes me need it even more than ever before. I sit down just mindlessly scrolling away on my phone. I can feel the gazes of Theo and Lucca on my back as they are in the breakfast line, but I pay them no mind and continue looking at my phone.