ALLAGRUGOUS

Chapter Seven - New Me

  I took a deep breath and got ready to talk to my brothers. I'm not mentally prepared to face my brothers not because I'm scared or intimidated, it's because I still have to be around them. I know that sounds harsh, but it's not just them.

It's everyone.

I just don't want to talk to them about my trip or eat dinner or take a shower. I'm too emotionally drained to do anything, but go home and pretend that I don't exist until the morning.

The worst part about this is that it doesn't even matter how I feel or what I want because no matter what I am going to plaster a fake smile on, pretending to be fine, especially around my brothers. They already think I am a child that can't do anything by myself and If they found out about everything, they are going to suffocate me even more than they do now.

I crawl over to the window, opening it up just enough so I can fit through. I climb through, stepping down onto the toilet. I hop down, turning to the counter to grab my jacket. Effortlessly I slip it over my head without messing up my hair too much thankfully. Turning to face, forward to fix up my hair and the rest of my appearance. I look really rough, but there's nothing I can do about it. I turn on the sink to wash the cigarette smell off my fingers. It's so hot in this damn bathroom. The second floor is always hotter than the first, but I didn't know it was going to be this hot. The heat also mixed with the smoke makes being in this bathroom almost unbearable.I only scrub my hands with water because there is no soap in this bathroom. No one uses this bathroom, they all go downstairs to use the better bathroom James just remodeled. 

By remodeled I mean, he just put in a fancy hand dryer and a better mirror. I turn the sink back off and shake my hands to get some of the water off before I wipe my hands on my hoodie. I get a whiff of the cigarette smell realizing if I left the bathroom they would smell it on me. Squatting down to look in the cabinets to try to find anything to try to conceal the smell. Anything is better than nothing because I am not about to get bitched at for smoking.

Most of the stuff here is just cleaning supplies. Move the bleach around to see if there is something I can use in the back. When I saw some condoms, I wrinkled my nose in disgust, knowing that one of my brothers had to put them in here. I don't know why they would want to have sex in this old dusty bathroom that's only half finished, but that's none of my business. I reach them and grab four or five of them surely the boys won't notice or at least I hope they don't. I place them in my bra, so the boys don't see it. I look back over to the right and saw some dusty old air freshener that may have been here for years.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" I whisper excitedly to myself. This spray is more than likely to not smell the best, but anything is better than nothing and right now I am desperate. I grab it and spray some on me before reaching behind me to grab the bleach to put it back. I put the air freshener back behind the bleach just as if it was never even moved. Opening the door, stepping out, shutting the door back behind me making my way down the hallway with slumped shoulders. I am so tired, I have no idea why considering I slept a bunch last night and on the bus ride here. Finally, I reach the door and without looking up I open it not bothering to close it. I walk over to the couch to sit down when I feel other people's presence in the room. I look up to see all of my brothers standing around the room just looking at me with strange facial expressions.

James' office is small and cramped and when we're all in here, it's even smaller. I just turn my back and sit down on the couch. I lean back to get comfortable I look over at the boys waiting for someone to say something.

"Where were you I told you to come in here?" James asked as soon as he saw me. He has his infamous look. I can't really explain it, but he has this look that he gives all of us when he's serious. It's almost a mix of an "I need to shit really bad" face and a "what the hell are you doing" face.