Part XVIII

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"People think the ones left are hurt and suffering more, but have they ever tried to understand how much pain someone had to put up with that eventually made them decide that love wasn't enough anymore?" She said her gaze stern.

"Have you ever think of what I've been through when you disappeared completely on me?" Her face looks so broken but my heart didn't ache like it was before. "You just decided upon yourself without letting me now about anything that's happening. You never included me in your plans. So who are you to tell me that the pain you have is more than I felt before."

"Love alone will never be enough and that's the painful truth about it, Yoongi. I never want to leave. I never want to disappear. I never want to hurt you and make you feel that you are nothing but a little secret to me. I just don't have any choice." She give me a sad smile and blink her eyes twice. "I am just so tired. Not because of you or of what we had. But of all the people around me. They have so much expectation on me, they have so many dreams I have to live up to make them happy. And that's when it all started. I am so afraid they'll judge you and make you feel you are nothing but a distraction to me. And for the record, Min Yoongi, I love you more than myself that's why I left you."

"Then you shouldn't have live up to the life they created for you." I said clenching my jaw. "You should have use your voice to speak up and stand on what you really want to have. Chae, if you really want something or someone in your life you fight for them not leave them when you feel like the pressure is too much for you to handle. And you love me more than yourself?" A chuckle left my mouth. "You don't even know what it is to really fall in love or be in love, Chaeyeon.

"Easy said than done. You know I can't break their heart-"

"So you just decided to break my heart?" A bitter laugh escaped my mouth. 'Maybe you didn't fall in love with me the way I wanted you to be. Because I knew at the very first place that you're just inlove with the fact that I'm willing to risk everything for you; the way how I always love you.''

"No, I love you. More tha-"

"You said you wanted to tell me all of your secrets, but why did I became one of them?"

"I was in chaos and I didn't mean to keep you out in the dark. I was just jaded, lost, confuse. It doesn't mean I didn't want to tell the world how much I love you, Yoongi."

"Still, you did. You kept me in the dark while pretending you have all the shine even when your light starts to flicker to the dark."

"I am sorry." She said sobbing, "I didn't meant to hurt you this bad. I didn't mean to ruin whatever we had. It was a choice I will always regret for the rest of my life."

"I wish I didn't love you so much, Chaeyeon." I clench my fist and clear my throat, hoping that the lump won't completely build up. "I always ask myself on how can I be back on track because all I ever think about is you. I was a mess back there. And I always think about us and as to why I wasn't enough."

"But you are enough, Yoongi. You always are."

"But still I was left behind."

"And you weren't the only one who got lost at track. I was too." Her voice almost sound like a whimper. "There were never a time that I didn't think about you and all the things I've lost. I always woke up in the middle of the night thinking about that day I broke your heart."

"And you made me awake the whole time. I never get to have a wink of sleep, hoping you will show in front of me."

"Yoongi, it was so hard for me to smile everyday mainly because there were remnants of the past about you lingering inside me. Everything around me reminds me of you, like the colour of your favourite cup, or the way on how you hate sunny days because it make you sweaty." She sniffles a sob causing her voice to crack. "I've been broken before you, but after you, I didn't know that I would shatter."

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