If She Fall

Finale

Chaeyeon's POV

[[ October 24, 2021 11:00 a.m. - Gonghang-ro, Jung-gu, Incheon, Seoul, Korea ]]

Tell me you're happy.

That's all I want to hear. Tell me you're happy, so I won't regret not asking you again to give it one last try again; so I would forgive myself for not chasing after you; so I would feel at ease despite the thought that I just let you go that easily, that I let you go just like that — without any questions asked and without insisting to fight.

Tell me you're happy.

That's all I want to hear. Maybe it would hurt less knowing that that's all it takes to make you happy. If your happiness is to live without me in your life, then my love, I promise you that you'll never hear from me again.

Tell me about her.

How she gets out of bed at the first ring of her alarm just to fix your breakfast and how her smile shines like the sun as you wake up next to her. How your home smells like pancakes and honey as the air is filled with giggles and laughter on a busy Monday. How tea became your favorite after knowing she hates caffeine. How you stare at her in her pajamas and messy bun, void of any make up, yet she beams so much magic in her eyes. How she is ready to go through every milestone and every bump as long as she is with you. How she became your breath of fresh air after work as she tells you her little adventures at home.

How she sleeps early in the warmth of your embrace and her cute snores remind you that she is your answered prayer. How she loves you without any condition and any doubt and how you love her with a love you never knew was possible. A love you have never felt before.

Tell me about her.

And all the things that I am not. Give me a glimpse of the future we once dreamed together. Let me see the happy ending we could have had. Make me understand why she is the one. Let me know that our pain was worth it.

And why I am not.

"Chaeyeon Eonni!"

I abruptly fold the letter I am holding and give her a smile. Seeing her breaks my heart but it wasn't even her fault to begin with. She's too pure and precious that I know I can not hate her. It wasn't her fault that Yoongi fall in love with her because if I am even on his shoe how can I not fall in love with a girl like her.

"Hey, Y/N." I said while giving her a hug.

"Are you really leaving?" She said after pulling out from the hug. "Didn't you say you'll be staying here for good?" She said with a pout.

I smile at her and pinch her cheeks, "I never have a reason to stay anymore. And I think it would be better for me to leave, Y/N. How can I stay in a place where my heart shattered into pieces?"

"I am sorry." She lower her head and play with her fingers. "I never knew this will happen."

"It was never your fault." I reach for her hand and hold it. "Never apologize for something you never did, okay?"

"But-"

"Y/N, it's okay. I will be okay." I give her a reassuring smile and pats her head. "You don't need to worry too much."

She noticed the paper I am holding and look at me, "Do you want me to give it to him?"

"No need. It would be better if this one remains with me. Nothing will ever change even if he reads it. I want this letter to be a daily reminder to me that we did somewhat happen, that it's not just a dream."

"If ever you have a chance to go back in time will you still choose to fall in love with him, Eonni?"

"Of course I would, Y/N." A genuine smile appear on my face. "I would always choose to fall in love with him."

"Why?"

"Because somewhere in between our very first meeting and this seemingly last one, he had made me happier than I could ever been without him. He had given me fleeting moments. He had given me memories to cherish and moments of undying happiness." I took a deep breath and a sigh escaped my mouth. "Y/N he had given me a chance to fall in love that's why I will always choose him in every lifetime."

"Even though you know what will bound to happen next?"

I nod my head at her and look at Yoongi standing from a distance, "Because loving him is worth losing him." A tear roll out of my eye but I immediately wipe it away. "I need to go now, Y/N. I am glad I see you before I leave."

She looks at Yoongi's direction then back to me, "You want to talk to him for a while or even say goodbye?" She hesitantly asked.

I shake my head in disapproval, "It's okay. It might be harder for me to leave if I hear his voice." I hug her one last time, "Please take good care of him, Y/N. That's the only favor I can ask from you." My voice almost crack after saying those words.

"I will, Eonni. I will. He means the world to me so how can I not take care of him?"

I sniffle my sob and pull away, giving her a force smile. I gave him once last glance before turning my back, my tears falling fast one by one. I put my hand on my mouth to stop the sob from coming out. My heart breaking on every step I am making.

I halt my step and once again unfolded the last letter I had written for him. A sad smile forming on my lips and tears unconsciously fall from my eyes again.

I had miss you even before I lost you, Yoongi. Abruptly as it may seem, but this is nothing new. Those were every page of this story if ever this one even counts.

The words I'd written, these fingertips that cared so much, the spacing out back and forth, the longing brought up by 2 am, they all had been threaded into every corner of my heart, they live right inside me.

For the last time, I wanna ask how were you doing with all these saddened paragraphs, how moon dust sounded like your mother tongue, how the meetings were either Taylor's Folklore or Evermore. I wish I could admit that I am going to be okay, even though I know it is still far from that.

I turn my back and immediately run back to where he was and again was reminded that this really is goodbye. I see on how his eyes shine when she look at Y/N, on how his smile radiates more than it was before and on how he gently cupped her face and place a kiss on her forehead.

The sight of them stabbed my heart and the pain pierced my soul. A scream almost about to let out of my mouth. I take a step back and hide on the corner and slowly I close my eyes, waiting for the tears to fall one by one but to my dismay no single drop fall.

My grip tighten on the letter I am holding, letting it get crumpled on my touch. My body tenses up and I know I almost close to breaking down. I take a deep breathe and let out multiple small sigh to calm myself before walking away.

I know that I will miss you even more, even when I do not have any reason to feel it anymore. I guess all of us did fall but it's only me who got hurt and broken on the fall.