Stories From Under A Bootheel (Rants, Laughs, and Tears)

Bonus Chapter Part 4 G-string or not G-string

Before getting to the embarrassing part, I have to begin with a little background information. My mentor at McClellan was Jim a senior captain. He not only mentored me in military and engineering matters, but also tried to help me with my social life. He even went as far as to take me to my first strip club. I had not met my future wife yet and although Jim was married, his wife was very liberal about such things. They had been married for over a decade and had two kids. Jim's wife helped me decorate my first house. It was a small townhouse Jim helped me find and convinced me to buy. Three years later I sold it and doubled my money one of the many things for which I am grateful to Jim and his wife.

The strip club Jim took Ron, the new captain in our section, and myself to was hidden in an old residential section of Sacramento. It was in fact a repurposed residence and had not been originally built for its current purpose. The front room was quite large and probably had been expanded taking in adjoining rooms by removing walls. It had a fully equipped bar along one side with a small stage on the other side and several small tables in between. It was unique in ways I would never have anticipated. The extent of its uniqueness would only become clear on my second visit when I discovered the owner was very flexible in the clientele to whom he chose to cater, but I'll get to that shortly.

On this first visit I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. There was free popcorn on the bar and some of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. At one point I turned on my bar stool and accidentally ran face first into the most perfect set of C-cups I had ever seen. No, this was not the embarrassment I promised. Almost getting my eyes poked out by nipples was only mildly embarrassing, and with free popcorn, good beer, good music and naked women, in a clean rather home like environment, it was an embarrassment I was more than happy to endure..

Now from C cups back to anemometer cups. After submitting much bureaucratic red tape I got permission to contact Cardion Electronics, the manufacturer of the aluminum anemometer cups the weather squadron wanted. Apparently, Cardion had been trying for years to get the Air Force to switch suppliers. They were so excited to hear from me they flew out one of their salesmen just to talk to me. Of course, I was too junior to handle this on my own so my civilian boss paired me with Ron, the new Captain in our section.

After a very successful meeting, the salesman who was unfamiliar with the area asked us if we could show him some of Sacramento's night life. Unfortunately, neither Ron or I were that familiar with the local night life. The only place we knew was the strip club Jim had taken us to. Admittedly we were both glad to have an excuse to go back there.

Okay, here comes the embarrassment. After driving around for a bit, we eventually found the place. Ron and I had really talked the place up to the Cardion salesman so you can imagine his reaction not to mention our reaction when we walked into the place and found that somehow since we were last there it had become a gay bar. We made a hasty retreat and spent the rest of the evening trying to explain to the salesman we really weren't gay. This was far more embarrassing than having my eyes nearly poked out by the stripper's nipples. How could they have let this happen? Fate was cruel and paradise was lost.