Theirs ☾mates☽

Chapter 13: the lake

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I really couldn't figure out why my life had gone hill so fast. My parents loved me so much, why did they have to die? Why did I kill them? I had been so young, and ever since then, I couldn't seem to stop suffering. I put myself through so much shit and I got hit with so much shit, it just didn't seem fair.

My hands shook as I heard a voice call my name, it wasn't one of my mates, though. My heart raced and I peeked up, I was on my guard as I looked down at the land under me thinking Alpha Riddle had come back, or worse, the rogues and council. But I saw nobody, I sat back in the tree, maybe I actually was losing my mind now. Wouldn't it be so perfect that the ice queen became so depressed that she lost her mind to her madness? I bet Holly would be rolling over my grave in tears.

I sat back on the branch and stared out at the lake, my eyes feeling to the center of the water where a small girl stood. Her hair was brown and hung down her like a curtain and her eyes glowed blue around her brown irises, my heart got stuck in my throat as I realized who this was. This was me...me as a child.

I hopped down from my branch and, still covered by the shadows of the tree, I started out at the girl who used to be me. I held my breath as she smiled and started skipping on the ice and in her direction, my father's voice rang through my mind once again, "Don't look down Aspen, look at me, you're doing so good! Slowly move towards me Baby, slowly now." That had been moments before he had died by my hands.

Now, as I watched my past self skip down the ice, I sighed sadly, I guess neither of us ever learned until it was too late.

I watched as the girl came to a stop before me, she held out her small hand and giggled, "Hello, Aspen!" She cooed, I took a few steps away in pure shock.

My hands came up to my chest and I held them close as I looked from her hands to her face, "Who-what are you?" I couldn't seem to understand how I was standing here, having a conversation with my child self.

She giggled again and bounced from one foot to the other, "I'm you silly." She laughed and tilted her head when she saw I wasn't laughing, "Well, actually, I am you but I'm also a spirit, so in a way, you are more of you than I ever will be." She sighed and shook her head.

I frowned and made a face, "That makes absolutely no sense at all." I said, baffled. I stared at the young girl as she seemed to fade, her pale flesh there one second then gone the next then back to standing right in front of me.

Spirit. She said she was a spirit.
"It makes all of the sense Aspen," She laughed once again and pointed at the lake behind her, it made me cringe and take a step back as a pang of sudden guilt hit me, "What does that lake mean to you?" She asked me, her eyes glowing with interest.

I stare out at the lake, emotions bubbling inside of me like a storm, "I'd rather not talk about it." I bit out. My body shook, but not from the cold, it shook from the force of my emotions, of the pain and the suffering that seemed to follow me around like a dark cloud.

I suddenly wished I had gone to school today.

"And that's exactly why we should talk about it." the Spirit spoke in riddles. I glared at her as my eyes flashed back to the lake, the lake that was covered in a thick sheen of ice, the lake that had cursed me to live my life as a misfit and abused me with its mocking reminder of what I had done.

I finally looked away from the lake and back at the girl, she was a spirit, who cares what I told her, it wasn't like she could go off and tell anybody else. "It's a reminder." I told her, "A reminder of what I have done and what I will never have." I sighed and tears bit at my eyes.

The child frowned and shook her head, "That's all KINDS of wrong." She said in a snarky voice, her hands on her hips as she faded out then appeared right by my side moments later, "Why can't you remember it as a place of rebirth, a place where you fell in only to come back as somebody stronger, somebody better." She said boldly.

I scoffed, "How could you even say that, this lake cursed me, I don't have a gift, I have a curse."

"And you would get rid of it, wouldn't you?" She asked sadly.

"Yes." I didn't hesitate, "I would, because maybe then the thought of my parents wouldn't make me fall into a hopeless pit, knowing that no matter how badly I hated myself for killing them, it would never be enough." I growled.

She sighed and grabbed my arm in her small hands, "Aspen, this gift you have, one day, it will be great things and sometimes great things come from dark places." She shook her head, "What I'm trying to say is, one day you will see your gift for what it is, and when you do, you will be reborn into the savior." She whispered and with that, she was gone, and I was left staring out at a lake that destroyed my life.

I wouldn't put it past the lake to mess with my head more than it already had, everybody seemed to mess with my head, why not the fucking lake too? As if it hadn't done enough already.

I shook my head and turned away from the frozen water, I started my slow trek back to the house, ready to see my mates again even if they hated me. Layla and I missed them and all I wanted was to crawl into their arms and be held by somebody who claimed to love me. I wanted to be treated by my mates while their love still lasted, I was greedy that way.

But as I stepped up the steps to my house and the doors flew open. Warm arms wrapped around me from my front and my back as I buried my face in Ryder's chest, I couldn't help but remember her words, "...you will be reborn into the savior." And all I could think is, the savior of what, the dead?