Heartache | Jim Moriarty

Goodbye

My life took a really dark turn after what happened at the house. I moved out two days later, well, unofficially but it felt like moving out.

Sebastian wasn't happy about it, even Jim complained once but I couldn't stay with them anymore, not if half of the house reminds me of my doings.

Everything was just so fucked up.

The first day I got back to work Mycroft knew something was wrong, just like I thought. But he didn't ask, not even argued when I yelled at him for his annoying behaviour.

It was almost like he cared and this made things so much more complicated. I felt guilty.

Now it was almost five weeks that I left and Sebastian finally stopped to text. He probably understood that I needed some space, or he simply gave up. Either way I was relieved.

Today Mycroft sent me to pick up his new suit for a gala I definitely wouldn't attend at, to get some air , he said. Because I was white as a sheet, Anthea said.

Well how exactly am I supposed to look when I feel sick every day? Disgusted about myself ?

But he couldn't know so I just did as he told me.

Walking through the busy streets of London I almost missed the ringing of my Phone. I thought it was Mycroft and picket up without checking.

"Ravens?"

"You're being followed, don't turn around." It was Sherlock. I should've known that Mycroft is sending someone after me, but his brother ?

"Don't turn around." Sherlock snapped annoyed when I turned around. I spotted a familiar coat in the crowd. It was Sebastian.

"I know him, just leave." I hung up and shook my head. No wonder Sebastian stopped to text now that he's stalking me. Who knows how long he already followed me around.

Ignoring the ringing of my phone I turned around and stopped. He caught my eye immediately.

"So you're stalking me now?" I asked as soon as he reached my side. He looked miserable, like he hasn't slept for a week.

"I'm worried. You just left after what happened." My phone rang again.

"Because I can't live in a crime scene. My life is a fucking mess." I pocket him weirdly in the chest to show my anger. It was ridiculous.

"I know! Okay ? But you did it out of protection. Turning your back to me isn't the right thing."

"What the hell Sebastian? You two are the reason this happened. It's your fault!" I was about to poke him in the chest again but he caught my wrist midway. His features softened.

"I know that too. But you're my friend, and I want to make sure you're okay."

His words touched me a little, mainly because I never had a friend who cared, but also because he understood. I guess that was our thing, to not blame each other because we understand.

"I'm just not okay." I whispered quietly. "What I did was wrong. But it felt right because I was scared about Jim. All of this is just....., it's confusing me deeply." The sniper hummed in agreement and gently placed a hand on my cheek. It comforted me a bit.