Heartache | Jim Moriarty

coming home

After spending my whole evening with crying I packed my things and decided to go back to the only place I knew I wouldn't be judged. Sure, Jim wouldn't be happy about the news that Mycroft knew about Sebastian, or that i was in the middle of things.

But all I wanted was pizza and my friends. Well, Sebastian. Jim wasn't exactly the let's talk about feelings type.

So checking out of the hotel, I called a cab and went back. It was still a bit strange, because I haven't forgotten why I left in the first place. But it's the closest to home I've got.

"We're here, miss." The driver said and startled me out of my thoughts. I really have to stop my overthinking.

After paying I got out of the car and waited for it to leave before I finally turned around to look at the manor. It was still fully lit what turned my stomach even more.

"Just go inside, tell them you're back and don't cry." I murmured to myself and went up to the gate. At least it was the same code as last time. Otherwise I would've looked stupid.

Arriving at the door I knocked hesitantly, my heart beat so hard against my ribcage that I thought I might suffer a heart attack. It was awful.

The door opened a minute later and I was met with a puzzled looking Sebastian. He wore his sleeping clothes and held a gun in his right hand. I would've laughed in any other situation.

"Really, you decided to come back at,....two a.m.?" He asked quietly but it was followed by a laugh. "Come in." stepping aside I went inside and slowly followed the sniper into the living area. Jim stood in front of the sofas and talked, they were having guests. Or a work meeting, I didn't know.

But all of them looked at me once Sebastian stepped aside.

"Welcome back sunshine, decided to cry for five weeks inside your office instead of the next five years?" Jim quipped with a smirk, making some of the men laugh. Maybe coming back was a mistake.

"Fuck you Jim." I snapped and his amused expression was quickly replaced with an angry glare. "Fuck you and Sebastian. It's your fucking fault that I lost my job, because apparently it wasn't important to mention that Sebastian worked for the fucking MI6 before you hired him. Or that Mycroft knows him at all. You weren't the only one who stalked me today." I yelled when I turned around to glare at Sebastian.

"Sherlock followed me, and he told Mycroft. And Mycroft paid me a lovely visit with a presentation about your stupid ass. But it's funny how hurt i am because my boss told me I'm a bloody traitor, or that I thought I'm safe in this house, that my friends wouldn't judge me. My life is nothing but a pile of broken glass, and all you have to say is 'Welcome back sunshine?' Really Jim, just fucking kill me and leave it, I'm done with this shit. Just done with everyone telling me what to do. I don't deserve this." Dumping my bag into the corner i made my way upstairs, avoiding everyone's shocked expression or Jim's stone cold face.

This was just the bloody topping of today's events and it hurt so deeply.

-

I must've fallen asleep quickly, because when I felt the dip of my mattress behind me I startled and my eyes shot open in alert.

"I didn't mean to wake you." My body stiffened when I recognised Jim's voice.

"Why are you in my bed then?" I asked harshly. He was laying in my bloody bed.

"Okay I knew you would wake up." That wasn't answering my question. Or explaining this situation.

Sighing heavily I turned around to face him.

"Of course you do, I'm a Soldier for gods sake."

"Yah but you weren't acting very soldier like when you yelled at me in front of my men. I have a reputation to loose, you know?" He didn't sound angry, but serious. And I actually was a bit scared of his intentions.

"I know. I'm sorry. Your amused remark hit home and my anger just.., burst."

"I figured. But I wasn't expecting you to come home with such an amount of news. Sebastian messed this one up." My eyes widened slightly when he mentioned home. Not me coming back, but home.

Who knew that one sentence could give me such a good weird feeling.

"I'm confused because he told me about his past, but not about MI6. I mean it's not a big deal, he could've told me."

"Maybe he didn't want you to think bad of him. Because Big Brother was your boss. Don't hold it against him." Jim moved a little more under the blanket to get comfortable, but the way he spoke confused me more than him being in my bed.

"Still doesn't explain why you're in my Bed." He chuckled softly, snuggling into the blanket. My bed would smell like him for days. Not that I complain, I liked his minty smell.                               "Call it comfort. Or does my closeness make you uncomfortable?" ah, here it was again, his teasing self.

"It should, but no. I always hated sharing space with people, ever since I was a child because if you fall asleep you're vulnerable." I mumbled, remembering my days in camp when i had to share a blanked with a strange guy every night. I always refused to sleep to keep watch.

"But i trust you."

"That's a big deal. Trusting the most dangerous man in England. The man who kills people out of fun because he's bored."

"You're right, maybe i shouldn't. But sometimes the most dangerous people are also the safest."

Humming softly Jim turned on his back. I wondered if he wanted to stay, but there was no way i would ask. It would make the whole thing more awkward than it already is.