Lavender Skies

~ 16 ~

TW Mentions of suicide

Just as every day comes to an end, every sunrise requires a sunset and every red sky will shift to night, the inevitable happened. Bokuto had to return to his flat, his apartment that was so empty it could no longer be considered a home. A shell of a residency, a clear empty vessel that lacked the love and attention it desperately required to be seen as anything close to homely. He knew he had to leave eventually, but as the minutes turned to hours and the small gestures shared became moments in time - his brain latched on to the comfort he had never received.

He didn't want this to end. Mentally cursing he swore if he had a superpower he would have the ability to trap time in a bottle, to catch it and allow moments and memories to replay like magic. Yet, Kotaro was no magician and real life is cruel, he knew all too well he was no protagonist in a fairytale but rather he was the comic relief side character at best.

Physically as he left the building he felt colder, the nip of the am breeze pinching and biting at his skin. Allowing the frost to infiltrate his safety. Emotionally a cold settled on him similarly to how frost sleeps on the grass in cold mornings, it spread slowly and it planned to stay, encapsulating him with its icy embrace until future sunshine dare to melt it. However, Kotaro never knew when he will next experience warmth.

Warmth is a fleeting feeling, something most people don't need to worry about. He knows many wives and husbands return to a warm house, will eat their dinners with their warming family, share warm embraces and rich conversations. Normality surrounds people in warmth and holds them like a hug, an embrace to caress the emotions, stroke the ego and offer hope. A hope people don't know they have until its fleeting, hope that warmth will be there.

Bokuto knew warmth eventually fizzles out, in his life of inconsistencies the one consistent thing was he will always end up alone. Alone, cold and chasing emotions he tries so hard to ignore. So hard to shut off as if he could flick a big red switch in his brain. Bokuto was no stranger to the cold but after his evening with his newfound soulmates - the frost he had become accustomed to had melted and he wasn't sure he was prepared to let it settle once again.

Kuroo sat happily in the drivers seat, he was on a high after the first date with Bokuto went well. Although he never officially called it a date to the snowy owl male, his mind was screaming date and the word made his chest feel light. He could feel butterflies in his stomach and whenever his mind would wander to the cute accidental touches and softly spoken words a smile would subconsciously tug at his lips.

"Are you ok Bo?" Kuroo asked, the already quiet male seemed quieter as he sat in the car. Kuroo noticed that his hair hadn't been tied up again, instead he was using the long locks almost like a shield to hide his face. In contrast to the smiles and laughs he had been chorusing out at the films, all the moments the tension would leave his body - he sat in the car with an aura of sheer contrast to those. His mood seemed darker, his hair a shield to protect him from his surroundings, his eyes staring at nothing. "Bo?" Kuroo prompted, his voice full of concern and worry. Instead of a reply he simply received a hum of acknowledgement.

The action caused his mind to jump into overthinking, as if someone had give his anxieties and worries caffeine they now swam freely around his head. Was it something he did? Is he going to freak out like at the coffee shop? Was the evening not nice? Was it the food? Was this all too soon and happening too fast? Had he made Bokuto uncomfortable? His analytical mind scraped and dragged recounting the events of the evening, combing over it. Trying to pinpoint things that he could have done. Perhaps if he knew what the problem was he could fix it, tell Bo everything would be ok and give him a warm hug goodnight when they get to his apartments.

But Kuroo had no idea what had gone wrong.

He had no idea why the smaller male was so silent on their car ride, or why he couldn't meet Kuroo's gaze. He was confused on why his shoulders trembled every so often and why each response was no greater than a mumble. Kuroo's brain raked through itself countless times, wanting nothing more than to pinpoint where the error in the evening had been, where it went wrong and how he could fix it. Yet every time he tried, he came out blank.