Chapter 36

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by jiminswifeforlife

by jiminswifeforlife

Mrs. Lassiter's POV

Malaysia sits down next to me on the couch. "Whatcha writin' in? A diary?" She questions.

"I guess you can call it that. Something like that." "What are you writing about?" I sigh, my pen still moving in my hand. "Just things I wish I could say to Ron."

   Ron, I've been cheating on you. With a woman. With Malaysia. That's why I'm so adamant about her being here.
   I love her, Ron. It feels so much more different than what we used to have. She's so sweet to me. She compliments me. She's here for me. She listens to me. She understands my body. When we have sex......it's amazing.
   It's been going on for awhile now. It all started when I asked her to be our babysitter. I might've......seduced her. I actually kissed her before we started the affair. She was reluctant at first, but then she got more comfortable with me.
   She's a lesbian, Ron. And so am I. I've known I'm gay for a good three years now. That's the real reason I don't wanna have sex with you. I don't like your gross penis. It looks weird to me. But vaginas, I think they're beautiful.
   Remember when you kept asking me if I was cheating on you with another dude? Well, I lied about the cheating part. I don't have sex with you or another dude. I have sex with her. And I love it. It's always so sensual and so rough, it leaves me wanting more. We've had sex multiple times. In our bed, on our couch, on the trip.
   If this breaks your heart, I really didn't mean to, but you've been such an asshole lately. Not to blame you for my actions, because this is completely on me, but I'm just saying that I don't feel bad about it because you're such a dick nowadays, and you know I don't like those.
   You make it so hard to just be around you. You hate Malaysia for no reason. She's done absolutely nothing wrong to you. Granted, she's the one I'm cheating on you with, but I initiated this, not her. Even still, she's never done anything to you, and the way you treat her is completely inappropriate. She helps us with our kid and our house. What could possibly be so bad about her from your standpoint? Honestly, I feel like you're mad at her because she does the things you don't, and you know that she makes me feel appreciated.
   At this point, you know our relationship is on the rocks. It's hopeless, Ron. I want a divorce, Ron. I really do. It sucks to say this, but I've never wanted anything as much as I want it. I wouldn't have done this to you if I thought there was a way out. The only reason, and I mean the ONLY reason I haven't divorced you yet is for Jacob's sake. I don't want him to grow up with the pain of divorced parents. If it weren't for him, I would've left you a long time ago and lived the way I WANT to live. I want to live my life as an openly gay woman, and be happy with the woman I love.
   I want to leave you for her. I want us to run away with Jacob and have her be his new stepmom. I don't want you to be apart of the equation anymore. I always imagine her and I going out with Jacob and doing fun things together. She would be a great mom, and she already loves Jacob so much. She'd be the perfect stepmom.
   Set me free, Ron. I'm not gonna divorce you, so be the one to do it for me. Leave me, Ron. Leave me and never come back. Every time you're gone, Malaysia and I make love and enjoy each other's company. That's what we did when we shared the room on the trip. When you left to the hotel, I was more than excited. I couldn't wait to have Malaysia sleep in our bed. When Malaysia's in our bed, I call it OUR bed, as in me and Malaysia's. Maybe someday it will officially be our bed.
   Matter of fact, maybe we'll get our own house together. A new house. A house that's never had you in it. It won't reek of your scent. It won't have any of your toxic memories. It won't have your homophobia. It won't have any of you.
   No matter how anyone looks at it, chops it, shakes it up, I don't love you, Ron. I don't love you at all. I haven't loved you in years. I stopped loving you when I realized who I am and decided to be true to myself.
   I can't be with you anymore. I'm not divorcing you, but emotionally......I left you a long time ago. I'm begging you, in a last-ditch effort, please let me go. End the relationship. Leave me and act like I never existed.