Fire Meet Gasoline

Chapter Twenty Two

"You're putting in for a transfer?" I hear a voice behind me say, and close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning around and facing Kelly, who is stood in his office doorway.

I shrug and cross my arms, taking a couple of steps towards him.
"Yeah, I am."

"Why? Why now?" Kelly says.

"Because I need a change. Even though this firehouse is like my family, only bad things have happened since I arrived here. This place must be cursed or I am. We'll find out which it is once I'm gone."

"You can't just leave Len, you're apart of this family now. We've lost too many people. It won't be the same without you."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you got married." I whisper and I look at him.

I see a flash of guilt in his eyes.

"This transfer is for the best, for you and for me. You can get on with your life, focus on your wife. There's too much tension between us when we're in the same room, I sense it, you can, and everyone else in the room can sense it. It's awkward and I hate it. I hate that it's come to this."

"Len please, you can't leave, you can't leave because of me." Kelly says and takes a step forward.

"It's not just because of you, it's because of how my life has played out. I lost Amelia, I have a stalker, I was attacked by him... it's too much. My stalker is still at large, if I transfer, he might not find me again."

"It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself it's the right choice Len."

"Don't make me doubt myself." I whisper.

"I'm not, I promise I'm not. I just want to make sure you're doing this for the right reasons." The volume of his voice rises.

"What is the right reason? I don't want to leave. I don't have a choice. I can't sit here and pretend to be happy for you. It kills me seeing you with her."

Kelly steps forward, and places his hands on my cheeks.

"I know I hurt you, and I regret that decision every day. But you cannot leave because of it, I will never forgive myself." He tells me.

I'm torn between wanting to believe him and stay at fifty one with my friends or leaving, restarting in Chicago.

"Boohoo, you'll feel hurt and won't be able to forgive yourself? After everything with Morgan, I just don't know how much more I can take. I wanted you. I needed you, and I couldn't wait to see you again Monday, and you waltz in like nothing happened between us. It crushed me Kelly."

"I know. I know I hurt you. And I'm so sorry." He says and I look up at him, wanting to forgive him.

"That's not good enough, your apology means nothing. You coming back here with another woman has ruined the chance of there being an us." I sigh and look up at him.

"I just want things between us normal, getting along and being friends would be so much better than not having you in my life at all, if I can't have you, at least we're friends, and we make this situation easier for everyone. No more hostility." My hands are wrapped around his wrists.

"I can't do that Len. I won't do it." Kelly says and I feel my stomach drop, and my eyes well up with tears.

"You don't want to be friends?" I whisper, and tug down on his wrists, removing his hands from my face.

"No." Kelly says, and I look down at the floor, my hands on his wrists, and I pull his hands away from my face.

"No, Len..." Kelly whispers, lifting my head to look at him.