Fire Meet Gasoline

Chapter Seven

She was gone. My little girl had been taken away from me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I don't know how long it had been since Kelly wrapped me in his arms and held me tight.

I was now sat in a bar, I'd lost track of time, but it had been four days since Amelia... since she had died.

I was at the bar, and the music was loud, and everyone was happy, I couldn't bare it much longer.

Of all the people in the world, every single one, Amelia ended up dead.
She was five years old, she had her whole life ahead of her.
I would never get to see her achieve all the moments a parent was meant to treasure.
I wouldn't get to chat to her about her first crush, her first boyfriend, I wouldn't get to see her graduate university, and that really sucked.

I wanted her to do something with her life, I wanted to make sure she didn't have the life that I had.

"Poor kid..." the bar tender mutters, as he stares at the tv screen.
I turned my attention to the tv, and saw the picture of Amelia, she was named the youngest victim of the attack, and they had yet to catch the evil, sick, son of s bitch who took my daughter away.

I slid my glass back across the surface of the bar.

I place a note down in front of the bar tender before I pick up my coat and make my way outside, and begin walking, as far as my legs could possibly carry me.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked along the pavement, I'd been walking for a good while, and now I had no idea where I was.

I pulled my phone from my pocket, and opened the contact list. I scrolled down the bundle of names, and my finger hovered above Kelly's name. I contemplated whether to call him or not. I mean, he had been sending me text messages non stop and I'd ignored every single one, I just wasn't in the mood to talk, if I opened my mouth and began to talk, tears would threaten to spill.

I just gave in, and dialled his number. He was probably on shift and had better things to do rather than babysit my pathetic self.

I held the phone to my ear and I heard the ringing tone, and then suddenly I heard his voice.

"Len?" He said.
I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say.
"Len, I know you are there. Please answer me."
"I'm here.." I whisper.
"Where are you?" He asks me.
"I'm, im not sure Kelly." I say softly.
"Look around, tell me what you can see."
I lifted my head, and pressed my lips together slightly.
"I can see a street sign, a Walmart, the underground thing, a subway restaurant.."
"What does the sign say Len?"
"Wabash and 6th.."
I hear him stumble about before he tells me to hang tight.
I stand, hanging around the street for about twenty minutes before Kelly pulls up in his car.
He climbs out, and looks at me.
"Come on, it's cold."
I nod and climb into his car, pulling my seatbelt on.
"How come you ended up here?" Kelly asks me and I shrug.
"I got to a bar, and then I left, and I walked, and here we are."
He nods and doesn't push it any further.
"Where shall I take you?"
"Anywhere but my house. I can't face it. Please don't make me go there Kelly." I whisper.
"I won't. How about we grab something to Eat? Pizza maybe?"
"Kelly, it's two a.m"
"So? I know a place."
I shrug lightly, I want to smile, and show my emotions, but I can't, not without Amelia.
"Sure, let's get pizza." I say.

Kelly and I were now walking along the pavement, beside the river, we each had a slice of pizza.

"Amelia always loved looking down at the river, she wanted to see if she could spot a shark, or a dolphin." I say softly and laugh a little.

"What if it was the other way around Len?" Kelly asks, and I frown.

"What if what was the other way around?" I ask him.

"What if you had been the one who died?"

I look at him and shrug.
"That's not the case is it kelly."

"Would you want Amelia to be sad, distant herself from everyone and not show her true emotions. Would you want her to be unhappy?"

I stay silent and look down at the floor, I bite my lip gently.

"Me and you both know Amelia was a happy child, she wouldn't want you to be miserable and isolated. You know that don't you?"

I feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then I feel Kelly's fingers lift my chin gently.

"I know but I feel like I'm betraying her Kelly. How can I laugh or smile when my little girl died? I'm not supposed to. She's the one person who had always been beside me. She's got me to where I am. Everything I did was for her, and now she's not here, I just feel lost, where do I go from here?"

Kelly wipes the tear from my cheek, and tucks my hair behind my ear.
"Len, you have to move forward. You'll never forget Amelia, and yeah, it really sucks and hurts that she has been taken away far too early, but we can't change that. You've just got to treasure all the memories you have of her, and hold them close to your heart."

I nodded slowly and looked back at Kelly.
He wrapped one arm around me as we began to walk back to his car. He kissed the top of my head, and I rested it against his arm.

I could feel Kelly glancing at me every so often as he drove along the roads.

"Where am I taking you Len?" Kelly asks.

"Not home, not yet. I can't face it, seeing all her things, not yet."

Kelly remains silent, it was a comforting silence.

"Come on, let's go inside." Kelly says.

Slowly, I climb out of Kelly's car, and look at the building in front of me.

"You live here?" I ask him and he nods.

We head inside, and he opens the door to reveal, a huge room, which doubles as the kitchen and the living room. It was open plan, kinda like a studio flat, but without the smallness.

"My room is over there, and the guest room is across the hall."

I nod and head in the direction of the guest room. As I shut the door behind me, I slide down the door, and the tears begin to roll down my cheeks.