The Black Tangled Heart

The Ruins

Camila smiled to herself as she sat cross legged on the floor of Shawns bedroom and applied makeup as she peered into a small silver mirror he used for shaving

The Mendes brothers apartment was tiny compared to her family home and was void of the luxuries she had grown up surrounded by but she felt more at home here after only a short period of time than she had ever felt in the large, suburban house she had recently vacated

She hummed happily as she applied winged eyeliner the way Shawn had once told her he liked. She knew she was playing with fire, pushing something that should be left well alone but her connection with Shawn was more than the boring 'hellos' and 'how are yous?' their relationship had been reduced to lately

She and Shawn together were fire and lightening, they were the perfect storm, so perfectly wrong for each other that when they came together it felt so perfectly right.

The screaming, the fighting, the hating, it all came together in the bedroom to make something so earth shatteringly good that she couldn't do what he wanted, couldn't walk away and let something that burned as hot as fire fade away to beige

Swiping some red lip glossy across her lips she pouted once and then released her curls from the scrunchy she had used to hold them back with. She took a second to throw them all over one shoulder and then pouted again and then smiled happily

She looked hot, she knew she did and she knew Shawn would think she did too especially when he saw her in his hoody, his name emblazoned across the back warning everyone else to stay away because she, like the clothing, was property of Shawn Mendes, even if neither of them were ready to admit it just yet

Jumping to her feet, she pulled on the over the thigh boots she would wear with booty shorts you couldn't see and then checked her phone, she had 20 minutes before she was due to meet Ethan at the coffee shop on the corner of their street.

After clearing her mess, Camila took the time to make the bed, placing some scented candles she had bought earlier around the room, hoping the night ended exactly where she wanted it too... between the sheets or against the walls of his room

Sighing loudly, Camila tried to work out what the hell she was doing.

Yes this was about sex, in fact it was almost entirely about sex, knowing the way he knew exactly what to say and do to give her body so much pleasure she at times worried it would maybe be too much for her to handle but there was something else, something she felt first thing in the morning when she was lying in his arms, especially on the recent mornings when their night had been filled with nothing but mindless conversation and then soft snores and the warmth of body heat.

She felt safe with Shawn, her mind calmed for those moments when he held her, her body reacted only by longing for him and not shutting down the way it did with every other man she had lain with

A hard tap on the front door shook her violently from her thoughts as she rushed down the corridor, hoping it was Shawn but pretty sure it would be an impatient Ethan on the other side, she was learning today that when it came to 'fight night' Ethan was 100 times more nervous than the man actually doing the fighting

"Sheesh, Eth!" She pulled the door open, a wide smile on her face which quickly disintegrated when she came face to face with her true guest

"Papá!" She exclaimed in surprise as she looked up at the man, his face pale, his eyes dark and heavy and his salt and pepper hair unkempt

"Can I come in?"

Camila knew that she should say no, that she should slam the door and then call Shawn but instead she nodded, allowing her father to enter and then shutting and locking the door behind her knowing in that instance that once again, everything was going to change

"How are you?" Her father asked as he took a seat on the sofa whilst Camila remained standing by the living room door

"Better than you by the seems of it, you look like shit" her father just nodded slowly "Maria?"

"You know better than to call her that Camila"

"Well she isn't my mother is she? Not really, not by nature and surely not by nurture" Camila crossed her arms, violently, already sick of the conversation she was caught up in, already desperate to get rid of her father and run straight to the high school and tell Shawn she didn't want a 'platonic friendship' with him, she wanted what they used to have but as her fathers eyes moved over her she couldn't help but drop her head and feel herself slowly begin to give in to the situation

"What happened to you Camila? You were such a bright, beautiful little girl, with your pigtails and your pretty dresses now you just look so... cheap, so used up and so much older than you are"

Camila bit back the truth, that her mother, who had plaited her hair and bought her those beautiful dresses had died and then her life had become a living nightmare.

That she was older than her years inside, because inside she was broken, she was smashed beyond repair and the true Camila, the girl she had been supposed to be when her mother was alive now lived in amongst the ruins of her soul

"Why are you here?"

"Your mom is going to leave me"

Camila wanted to yell 'Good! It's about time! let her go!' but she knew her father wouldn't hear it. He was so in love, so manipulated, so blinded by his wife that he saw nothing but her. No matter what she did, no matter how many times she lied or cheated or let him down he would never walk away, never admit to the truth of who she was

"Okay" was all she finally forced out

"She feels like such a terrible mother that you left and chose to live here in this rundown apartment with two men you barely know, letting them do god knows what to you..."

"They don't do anything to me except take care of me just like you should have!" Camila clamped a hand over her mouth to prevent any further truths escaping but her father didn't even acknowledge she had spoken as he kept his eyes on his expensive, brown leather shoes

"She cries herself to sleep Camila, she can't bare to go into your room or look at your photos"

"There are no photos of me in that house!" But again her father kept talking

"Our family is falling to pieces without you Camila"

She wanted to tell him that there was no family, that their family had died the same day as her mother had but she just shook her head silently as her heart began to crack at what she knew was now inevitable

"What do you want me to do?" She knew what his answer would be

"You have to come home"

And there it was...

"She's suicidal Camila, she's threatening to do all sorts and if anything happens to her the blood will be on your hands can you live with that?" For the first time since he had arrived, her father lifted his head and really looked at her. His eyes exactly like her own, large and chocolate brown, framed with thick lashes.

He was just a man in his early 40s but he looked almost a decade older, his eyes and skin tired, his body bloated, his wedding ring looking at risk of cutting off the circulation to his finger

Camila had just taken a breath on which to reply when her phone began ringing loudly beside her. Picking it up she saw Ethan's name on the screen

"Your family need you Camila, do not answer that phone" her father instructed as he pushed himself to his feet and then methodically began working his way around the living room, collecting every item he recognised as belonging to his daughter

Looking down at the phone in her hand, Camila knew she should answer it, she knew that it was in her best interests to tell Ethan what was going on and then let Shawn deal with it but since she was a child Camila had learnt that her best interests where not what mattered, they were to be sacrificed and ignored as everyone took what they wanted from her and then discarded her.

Clicking 'decline' she placed the phone on the fireplace and then silently joined her father, working her way through the apartment and gathering any items that belonged to her

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