Evie - [wlw]

twenty-one

evie
-

"Everything will be okay.."

A voice kept whispering in my mind and I felt hands cup each side of my face with palms the size of a child's. I was kneeling inside of my old apartment when I lived with Addie.

The child was faceless and I felt my body twitch. I knew I was sleeping but I couldn't wake myself up. Not yet anyways.

The child's soft voice kept repeating those words and caressing my face soothingly. Calming down my body from twitching. Though I swear I could feel my body start to break out into a sweat as soon as I saw Valentina enter the room from behind the child.

She looked like she had been crying too.

My face saddened at the sight and I stood from where I kneeled trying to reach out to her. Calling her name desperately with my arms out in front of me. She reached for me too but suddenly the environment we were in went completely white and she faded into the light.

I gasped deeply and sat upright in my bed panting, almost choking on my own breaths.

My bedroom was pitch black still and the curtains that peaked open in front of the balcony doors exposed the darkness that had yet to leave.

I sighed kicking the covers off of my sweating body and brought my legs up to where my feet rested against the cooler spots of the bedsheets. I buried my head between my knees and whimpered quietly, trying to control my breathing and fight the urge to break down and cry.

I have had these recurring nightmares involving Valentina and the twins for the past few nights. Sometimes multiple in one night.

They always had a repeating theme, which was about loss. At the end of every dream before I would wake up. Something awful would happen to them or they would just disappear out of sight.

Tonight I was grateful that she only disappeared.

But the little girl that appeared in my dream tonight. This was the second time I've seen her appear. The first time being in a garden, one that was at my old apartment and we were planting something in one of the boxes. I still couldn't make out who she was, and the fact that she was always faceless was eerie but also frustrating.

She must represent something from my past but each time I tried to recall a child. The only ones that came to mind were Nani and Vivi.

I lifted my head and sighed, wiping my tear stained cheeks before slumping back into bed. Curling up into a ball and pulling my aunt's blanket over me as a shield from the cool air that blasted from the vents.

. . .

I stood in front of the full length mirror that Nayelli had up against the wall in her bedroom. Examining myself in the light pink and white dress I bought not too long ago.

At the time I was excited to get all dressed up and attend a large gala that benefited children whose situation I once could relate to.

But right now I wanted nothing more than to go back into bed and stare at the T.V. as it replayed every season of The Golden Girls. I found it comforting once I remembered that my aunt used to have it playing on her television all the time.