Evie - [wlw]

twenty-seven

-

evie

I sniffed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. My nose stung from crying and blowing it so often that I almost caused myself a nosebleed. I wiped the few stray tears that still lingered on my cheeks and sat down at the end of the bed in the guest room.

After Sophia had run upstairs while experiencing a meltdown. Valentina spoke with the cop outside while Britt and Selah got everyone to leave. I however had remained frozen in the same spot I was standing in when Sophia had noticed me.

The look on her face was something I couldn't stop replaying in my head.

I saw a lost and broken child standing before me who looked like she wanted to reach out for comfort out of habit. But I noticed the small backwards step she took before running up the stairs in tears and defeat.

It made me feel guilty.

Guilty because I wasn't in the position to comfort her the way I should be as a mom.

"Evie." Selah's voice said from the other side of the door followed by a knock. I looked up to see the brunette walk inside the bedroom alone and shut the door behind her.

She leaned against it, giving me my space and crossed her arms over her chest. She had changed out of her costume and into a pair of sweatpants along with a university sweatshirt. Selah didn't speak for a couple of seconds but instead looked at me with the concerned look of a mother. The expression reminded me of my aunt and my lip quivered for a moment before I covered it up by pressing my lips together.

"You ok?" Selah asked. I let out a small sigh and looked around the guest bedroom thoughtfully.

I shrugged my shoulders in response. "I don't know...I-I mean I do know but...at the same time it doesn't make sense in my mind about why I'm not ok right now. My brain just feels like it's about to implode with how much thinking I've done lately and how many emotions I'm trying to process!"

I stood from the bed pacing back and forth in the middle of the room. Throwing my hands up mid air and dropping them to my side afterwards.

"I'm trying to process it all at once because I know there's people depending on me to fix the situation that's been broken for almost three years now, and I want to be able to do it all and fix it and fix my injury so I can be the person they need me to be but I-I-" My sobs started to choke me and the words I wanted to say would no longer come out.

"Hey. Hey, Evie calm down." Selah stepped towards me and placed her hands at the sides of my arms to keep me from moving. "Take a deep breath and just focus on breathing for now, ok?" She leaned her head down a little to make sure we were making eye contact. "Otherwise you're going to send yourself into a panic attack."

I nodded my head and started to take some deep breaths the best I could until I felt the same dull pain in the middle of my chest. I rubbed it subconsciously and began to sob into Selah's chest. Her arms enveloped me and kept my shaking body in one place as I let everything out.