To Be Different

Chapter 10.

When I arrive home, all the excitement I had to play with Jeffery was gone.

I lock myself in my room. It doesn't bring comfort to me today. It only evokes feelings of sadness.

From everything that everyone said to me today.
I hate my mother so much. I just wish she was there for me.

It's so hard to pretend that you don't have a mother.

It's so hard, especially when she's still alive.

Just not leaving with you.

I mean, I wouldn't mind if Natasha lived with me as a child.

I would at least feel a mother's love. But, it was too late.

My mom left me as a child. The only time I ever saw her again, it was when she rejected me.

When my mom fully forgot about me.
She wasn't proud of having me. She didn't care at all.

I only met her again, when she completely erased me out of her life.

Feeling miserable as always, I stare at myself in the mirror..

I look exactly like her.

Only problem is, she's very fond of her looks.

I'm not.

I hate my reflection. I don't look like my father one bit.

I have her eyes, her cheekbones. I'm exactly her copy.

I hate her so much.

I stare at her dead cellphone number.

I hate it.

I send her crying emogis and immediately delete them.

Why mother? Why?

Why do you have to do this to me?

Why don't you care about me?

Why is my life so clueless!

Why am I different from everyone else?

Why couldn't I just grow up with a happy family?

A mother and a father that care about me as a team?

Why me?

I pick up the huge mirror and throw it on the floor.

I scream together with the crash.

I'm a mess.

I don't deserve to be alive.

I fall down next to the pieces and I feel a sharp pain in my knee.

The door opens at the same time that I really scream.

My blood just scares me so much.

Natasha rushes to my aid, dropping the baby on the bed.

"Oh my goodness. Sweetheart, what is happening to you?" She asks slowly lifting me from the ground to the bed.

I wish I imagined that. I wish I imagined that someone actually cares about me.

Dad usually ignores me.

He's gotten used to my screaming and stopped checking up on me.

Jeffery cries too. I'm such a mess.

She ties my knees with a cloth to stop the bleeding.

I cry harder. Not from the pain, but my life.

"Why are you bothering?" Tears split out of my eyes.

It's so hard to be okay.

I see her sobbing through my peripheral vision.