Let's Love, Idol!

Chapter 14

SHINA YOUNG

Ang init sa loob ng sasakyan kahit nakatodo na ang aircon. Para akong nasasakal. Tumigil ako sa pagmamaneho at bumaba sa kotse. Mas mabuti pang maglakad at magpahangin tutal tatlong kanto na rin lang naman ang layo hanggang bahay.

"Ma'am saan po kayo pupunta?" Mabilis na lapit sa akin ng isa sa mga bodyguards na nakasakay sa bumubuntot sa aking suv.

"I'll walk. Can you drive this home?" tukoy ko sa aking minamanehong sasakyan.

"Yes ma'am."

Naglakad ako sa tahimik na sidewalk. Pinauna ko na sa bahay ang dalawang sasakyan at may tatlong bodyguards na lang na nakasunod sa akin. Malayo ang pagitan nila sa akin as they were respecting my personal time.

It's two in the morning so I have the whole village road to myself. Medyo lumuwag-luwag na ang paghinga ko ngunit napapamasahe pa rin ako sa aking dibdib. Hindi pa rin kasi ito tuluyang kumakalma.

I began wondering again about what happened earlier between me and Jin. What was that moment when our faces almost touched? Bakit parehas kaming hindi nakagalaw at hindi agad lumayo sa isa't isa? It's seemed like the time was frozen for seconds. Did I just had a starstruck symptom? I knew from the start that he's incredibly handsome pero sa mga sandaling iyon ay tila nag times ten ang kagwapuhan niya. As if I was gazing to a mystical character from a magical novel. And his lips? They relentlessly seduced my eyes. They made my head went blank for a moment.

Napangisi ako sabay iling. Did he intentionally use his star power on me to prove that he can easily lure woman? I think that guy tricked me again!

Lumakas na naman ang tahip ng aking dibdib. Every time that moment rewinds in my head, my chest is getting uneasy. I've never been that near to a man's face kaya siguro ganun na lang ang nerbiyos nitong dibdib ko.

Malumanay na binatukan ko ang aking sarili. What's wrong with you Shina?! Why are you spending time analyzing useless things? Stay focus lalo na ngayong malapit nang mangyari ang pinakakahintay mong pangalawang date nina Suzie at Jin.

I was glad that I decided to talk to Jin. He indeed made me hold on to my decision not to quit. Balak ko sanang magpahinga muna ng mga isa hanggang dalawang araw pa para pag-isipan ang aking magiging desisyon but not anymore. Ngayong partially may approval na ako ng aking ama, mas malaya at mas maluwag na akong makakagalaw. I won't waste this freedom he gave me. Titiyakin kong magiging masaya ako sa bawat sandali ng kalayaan ko that it would worth all the pain in the end.

The end that I'm referring is the time when Jin and DVX will find out my real identity. Posible ko pa ring maitago ang identity ko sa ibang members hanggang dulo but not with Jin. Definitely our family will meet in the later part of this arrangement and I have no choice but to expose myself. Before that happens, I'll confess everything to him. I'll ask for forgiveness even if I go down on my knees. Jin and DVX are good people, they might hate me for all my lies pero alam kong hindi nila ako magagawang sirain sa publiko. Inihanda ko na ang sarili ko sa lahat ng pwedeng mangyari between me and DVX at kung hindi man nila ako mapatawad maiintindihan ko. In regards with Suzie and Jin, if they fell in love, with his broadminded personality, I don't think my lies will become a strong reason for them to break-up. He might as well hate me for the rest of his life but he'll continue loving my sister.

This is my plan. There'll be no happy ending for me but I'll be okay with that since I have my real world to return to wherein there's no room for sad nor happy ending.

Tumigil ako sa malalim na pag-iisip nang matanaw kong may nakangiting mamang naghihintay sa akin sa harap ng bahay. He's leaning on the hood of his car. Bahagyang gumaan ang aking pakiramdam.