Now What Have I Gotten Myself Into? ~Enter Konoha's number one knuckle head

50

Kakashi had called me to the Hokage tent early that morning. The journal's I had requested had finally been produced. So I had went. And just like before, things were weird. He kept trying to say something with that tone that was all but screaming he wanted to talk about something that I didn't want to even have brought up... Him and Aphrodite. So I had all but grabbed the books and ran out of the tent. I don't understand why he keeps trying to bring up their relationship. I figured it out already, and it's confusing. The only way I can work the outcome of it all together is that he was toying with my emotions that entire time. But then I'd come up with the problem that, it's not like Kakashi to do something like that.

Have I really become so paranoid that I'm seeing betrayal in everything? I mean come on. I like to think I'm rational and yes I think about things a bit too much. I also enjoy a good puzzle to piece together. But, paranoid? Could it really be that? It's actually possible when I think about it. He hid the fact that he's been with Aphrodite off and on for the last few years ever since I got back to the village. I don't like how ever since I figured it out, I've been questioning everything I know about him. Not really just him though, I've been repeatedly questioning why I even care. I chose Sasuke so it shouldn't matter. And then I figured out my dilemma. It's Aphrodite. She not only betrayed me in the past but she's hid things from me and probably still is. It's not too far fetched to figure out that Kakashi has been hiding things from me too. Like the fact about them. Now whenever I think about it.. I wonder if Kakashi ever did feel the way he acted. I mean it's not like he ever came out and said those words to me but he kissed me, twice. Was he lying?

Shaking my head I jump out of my tree and slip the book that contains my name into my ninja pouch. Looking down at Kakashi's name swirling endlessly in a sea of gold I found myself frowning. I never lied about my feelings. I do love all three of them and even though I knew I had to choose just one, a part of me didn't want to. The very selfish part of me wanted to keep all three of them the way we were... Is this why I'm upset about him and Aphrodite? As if I had claim to the three of them and she's trespassing? I'm not sure if I'm that far off the mark at this point. Sighing I close my eyes. I really am horrible. Even I know it's a mixture between the untimeliness of Kakashi and Aphrodite and my own selfish feelings.

Sighing heavily I find myself walking through the area making sure to not walk into any villagers or even ninja. I'm just going to put the book on his table and get out. I tell myself knowing that right now, distance is probably best. To top it off, Sasuke has been distant from me too. I knew he would be mad that I would ask Itachi to spar and not him and I knew the probability of him either ignoring me or acting out was rather high. I had just hoped he would understand that I needed to let loose. Then again, he is a lot like Light was. Even back then I knew if I was going to have a decent conversation between L and I it had to be done without him around. He was always giving L death glares when I was around.

I've known since I realized the similarities that there are differences between them. Light even though he was a killer he wasn't actually a violent person. Sasuke has proven to be rather violent but he's also a ninja, it's a part of his job. Light was usually always calm and Sasuke let's his temper get the better of him. Light would kill be it criminals or people after him. Sasuke only killed when he was with Orochimaru and it was only when he couldn't avoid it. Yes, they are so alike even I get caught up in the similarities. Yet, for every similarity there is differences.

I had thought long and hard about all of it. I noticed similarities in all three of them, as well as differences. Itachi isn't as straight forward, he would never be as bold as Light. Yet he was also a killer just like him, he never let himself get worked up enough he would lose complete control over his emotions. He is methodical and his deductive skills are scary. But all of their differences were far greater. Kakashi himself is a lot like Light but yet also not. It is Sasuke that pushes the memory of Light to the front of my mind. But all three of them make my heart skip. There is one fatal difference in two out of three of them. Light trusted me. Even when he couldn't see my end game, he trusted me. All I had to do was ask him to do something a certain way and he did it without question. In fact, that is one of the main reasons I believed he was under my -spell-