Finding yourself

Chaos

Chaos is synonymous with disorder. Mental disorder, or rather mental imbalance, is behaviour that is characterised by a disturbance of intellectual activity and is not adapted to the current situation. Any situation that has handled us in a negative way can lead us to chaos, that place where you lose your essence as a human being and you are not able to recognise your mistakes and you tend to self-judgement. There are different types of judgements about oneself: success or failure, social status, confidence, intelligence, sexual orientation... In order to gain self-confidence, it is necessary to build an attitude of mental confidence, that is, to look ahead and keep your feet on the ground in order to move forward and not look at the past; be kind to yourself and try not to compare yourself with those around you; let go of self-doubts in order to gain mental and human strength; challenge yourself to achieve something out of your comfort zone and finally, love without limits because if you do it from the heart, life gives you back the flowers you always wanted to water. 

Many have asked me what is therapy for oneself, when chaos is the reason why you can't get out of bed. From my point of view, after all these years, I have felt that people were walking away from me for no reason, and that I deserved to be where I was, I mean, in mental chaos. I felt the anxiety every night and it no longer hurt to cry, it was quite a toxic habit for me and for those around me, as I used to say words I had never intended to say, and even break friendships that I regret today. I found therapy just for me and my mental health: I focused on the positive in my life, I thought about my well-being, I asked for forgiveness from people who didn't deserve my chaos so I could be at peace with myself, I have read a lot about meditation and the changes it brings about in my life, and I have taken care of my personal relationships.

It is easy to fall into the negative and feel like the most undervalued person in the world. We all want intense love but at the same time fear floods our souls. There are other people who love the simple, as opposed to others who love without limits. The world is full of love offenders, of those who long to be loved for their evil deeds, but others are wise to the word philia. What does philia mean? According to Aristotle, it is affection and appreciation for what we do not lack. To love is to rejoice, to be glad for what one receives and to feel affection for the cause of that joy. We are all like that, even if we have made mistakes or are love offenders. Being pamphilic is synonymous with being kind, but not only to those around you, but to yourself in order to accept the love you deserve. 

Undoubtedly, that small action of loving with simplicity can heal souls, some may feel the anchor of their life to rebuild the broken glass of the past. As a writer and at the same time, an intense girl in love, I have offered my soul to many people who today are on the train of my life, and without a doubt, they recognise the journey they have to go through by my side. They are loyal and patient people, day by day I give them lessons to heal their souls and to continue the journey of life. If a person is lost and doesn't know which carriage to get on, offer them a seat on yours and be patient with them as well as with yourself. Internal battles lead to chaos and chaos leads to depression. That small action of offering a seat demonstrates the willingness and eagerness to know that you are still breathing in this world, and you are a valuable person for helping those who yearn for love. 

When a baby is born, many people, especially family members, offer him or her the seat in their carriage. The baby feels loved for being born and being part of the family, but when the individual grows up, that love from loved ones turns into something colder, as he or she has to progress mentally, and be the weather vane of his or her daily actions. Oneself when is not part of the wagon of certain people for different reasons in one's life, and indeed, the soul is enlarged after certain actions of love that the people in your life yearn for. We come to self-will, that is, self-will is that kind of force to develop or carry out an action according to an expected result. We do actions that we know what the expected ending will be. Life can be compared to a movie, because depending on the plot, the ending is recognisable. It is the same with people, I mean, after the actions they show you, you recognise the outcome that awaits you with that person.

What is the best way out of the chaos? First, reason about your past and extract the outcomes that have gotten you out of sorts with life, and after that, forgive above all else to gain emotional strength. Secondly, be a lover of life, and tend to love without limits by longing for what you want most in life. And finally, wish good to all in order to achieve self-will and to be able to accept others into the wagon of your life, so that you will receive the love you long for. 

Mental chaos can harm those around you in unexpected ways, and sometimes we don't even know how we feel and we call it chaos too. Maybe, technically, it's not, but it's okay to call what hurts you chaos if you long to come out of it little by little. It's okay to judge yourself if you promise to love yourself without limits after this battle. 

"The egoist loves himself without rivals" - Cicero.